April 21, 2007

Beware of Bunnies

When these rabbits revolt, and hopping turns to stomping, will we be ready? Can we handle a bunnified nation?

These bunnies are divided into Bunnites and Bunnies, two similar, but battling sects of their religion, who each claim Peter Rabbit as God's messenger.

Peter's traditional story is that a bunny with wings flew to his patch, and told him to claim to the world that a greater, more powerful rabbit was watching. The rats, he said, while rodents themselves, did not eat of the holy carrot, and would not be able to go to Heaven, where 72 Playboy Bunnies waited eagerly to populate the world beyond. Convert them, Peter said to the bunnies, spread it by the carrot.

Since those days, a million generation of rabbits ago, the world has been fooled. Cute rabbits tease our foolish hearts, as they, insidious and willing to run across a road as suicide hoppers, are slowly taking over.

Beware. The book revered by these rabbits, the Bun'an, carries more than peaceful tales about hopping down the bunny trail.

Beware. The carrot you see may be more than mere vegetable.

Beware. A rabbit, even now hops among us.

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