November 29, 2010

As I Write, As I Write

Astro BoyAs I write, I take time from editing, designing "Bits of Nonsense Come in Threes" based on my blog. Not ready yet, but moving forward.

The best, the worst and the funniest nonsense. In somewhere between 100-300 pp. will be found fodder for bathroom magazine racks, dentist offices and used bookstores across the world.

As I distract myself, I'm also watching Astroboy. Enjoy the clip.

November 24, 2010

Pleasant, But Ordinary Vanilla Coffee for a Cold Day,

Starbucks Natural Fusions Ground Coffee, Vanilla Flavored, 11-Ounce Packages (Pack of 2)
The doorbell rang on a frozen rain-rattled November afternoon. The postman left a box of Starbucks vanilla flavored ground coffee.

Raggedly tired from the day, from the week, from the month, finding later autumn is rarely pleasant on its own merit, this was a good surprise. While plenty of coffee I had stocked in readiness for the first dismal days on winter, packages in the mail are like Christmas day presents. Eager, though already knowing what was inside, I smiled at the scent. Familiar. It reminded me of inexpensive coffee I bought before late novel-reading nights in college.

Brewing quickly four cups, I poured the first taste into an old mug one of my first clients gave me, the one with pelicans on a sunny pier.

Holding the mug with two hands, I sipped as anyone would hot coffee. Was it better, I wondered. No. Just ordinary. The vanilla was the same. The coffee was the same. Only the label was new. As it was already ground, it missed the freshness I can find even in any grocer who will grind the beans.

I will finish the bag, and be glad I did, but having found nothing to compel me to look for it, I won't. If you have had vanilla flavored coffee, you have had this one.

--Brockeim

Michael Jordan Almost Changed His Name... Air Brockeim?

Michael Jordan is a fantastic, or, at least was a fantastic basketball player. Point guard. Best ever? Maybe. The Chicago Bulls have him to thank for six NBA championship rings.

As he played, he knew one thing, though. His name was too common. Wanting to grab onto my fame and fortune, he considered seriously changing his name.

Anyone wearing Air Brockeims? It could have been... it could have been.

Now, to go to the park and work on my jump shot (see my basketball review)

See a real Michael Jordan jersey:
Michael Jordan Autographed Chicago Bulls Away/Red Jersey (it costs how much?)

Search Amazon.com for Bulls jerseys

NEW: Wonder what it is really like writing nonsense each day? What motivates Brockeim to write? Watch Brockeim and his agent argue about humor, romance and writing in this fresh, new video.

More YouTube videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/Brockeim

November 21, 2010

Video review: Sweetens Toasted Bagels and Rainy Days: Great Lakes Select Honey, 32-Ounce Plastic Flat (Pack of 3) review



Great Lakes Select Honey, 32-Ounce Plastic Flat (Pack of 3)
(video review here)


The sun had not risen, and it would not rise. This day was the kind that never sees light, and knows only rain. Any flicker from lightening was blocked by water plating the window. Coffee could not cure this morning. This took something nature delivered on a brighter day, the highly caloric and twice as sweet gift of honey.

Nancy, my neighbor across the way, smiled from her balcony as we both saw our sunrise walk and breakfast in the park draining with each raindrop. Her yellow sundress belying the circumstance danced as she turned toward her apartment. She signaled me over.

Two bagel halves newly crisped in a convection oven, were browned and ready on a napkin. Great Lakes honey stood at 32 ounces of attention, knowing the bold task ahead. From bottle to spoon to bagel, I brought the honey to its better place, and ate.

No solution could stop the rain, but honey on a bagel in the presence of a friend a morning in May lifted my temper. We laughed until noon.

May your rainiest of days be offset by the sweetest of mornings with Great Lakes Select Honey.

--Brockeim


November 20, 2010

Finds Storied Romance and Forgets Coffee Spill: Red Retro Metal Lawn Chair review



Red Retro Metal Lawn Chair

Left like a teardrop at the bottom of my empty cup was the last reminder of a morning to remember. It is noon now, and I am just up from where I sat since dawn, where I sipped coffee and read.

A good chair forgets itself, and the one sitting forgets the chair. And so I did. Thumbing through old magazines, reading yesteryear's news, hours passed. Music, romance and poetry all passed before me this morning in the chair. As I read, Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough" played everywhere. Audrey Hepburn's second husband died. A book about Pablo Neruda, "Ardiente Paciencia," was published.

The chair survived honorably a coffee spill, wiping clean with a towel. Unstained yet willing to take on harsh weather, the chair has served me through many more sunrises, and will be here for ten thousand more.

As I finished my drink, the sun lifted, and the breeze of morning became the hot wind of summer. Uncomfortable for reading, I pushed the chair against the wall, ready for tomorrow.

May your lawn chairs, like this Red Retro Metal Lawn Chair, meet you daily to greet the day, and to wander with you through many a volume of forgotten lore.

--Brockeim

November 13, 2010

Amazon Reviewing Report: 12.5K Lower

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card (0109)
It seems as there is a tide, or an ebb, or a flow? A few more votes have delivered me even lower? Five votes and four reviews, and I am 12,531 places lower. In the classic rankings I nudged higher. It is a strange world there in Seattle.

More reviews are in the brewing stages. If you haven't yet explored my humor site, please do. And, if an Amazon gift card would get your Christmas shopping done, see the links above and below, or, just start shopping at Amazon. Free stuff in there if you look around, like The Incredible Singing Christmas Tree mp3.

November 13
Customer Reviews: 113
New Reviewer Rank: 60,742
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,165
Helpful Votes: 916

November 3
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 73,273
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,157
Helpful Votes: 911

October 15
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 94,917
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,250
Helpful Votes: 905

October 1 
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 310,062
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,300
Helpful Votes: 900

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card
Amazon.com $25 Gift Card - Box of 50 Cards

November 10, 2010

Familiar Like the Girl Next Door: Latte Macchiato Meets a Delicious Need: review: Latte Macchiato via Nescafe Dolce Gusto Single-Serve Coffee Machine

A Latte Macchiato.
The product of my
Nescafe Dolce Gusto Single-Serve Coffee Machine.
My Nescafe Dolce Gusto Latte Macchiato was born on my counter, not royal, nor so humble that I would not enjoy her company. Finding companionship with wine glasses, she smiled at me, and together, we ran through the morning with celebration of sugar, caffeine and artificial milk. It lacked the superb richness of a true, cafe-birthed Latte Macchiato, but brought me a plebeian convenience, like a girl next door's beauty and familiarity.

The process for her creation was three-step. First, the mere heating of the machine. Second, the insertion of the milk-foam capsule and pulling hot water through it. Third, and lastly, inserting the espresso-like coffee capsule, and likewise pulling it.

I can, and often do, make a more sophisticated latte macchiato, but the time it takes, though worth it, is not always available. I enjoyed tasting this drink, knowing fully what it could be, but accepting it as it was.

--Brockeim

Nescafe Dolce Gusto Single-Serve Coffee Machine review: Good Coffee Drink, Hard to Find Pods

Do you remember watching old Star Trek reruns, and seeing the special effects were not on par with modern techniques, but loving the show anyway? The end product, all of it together, from Captain Kirk to the Klingons, the story was good and often insightful. The Nescafe Dolce Gusto Single-Serve Coffee Machine is like that. It cannot equal the carefully made latte or espresso produced with a $1,000 machine using the finest beans. It makes no pretense of doing that either. Its sell is its quick and easy-to-use convenience, with enough quality to satisfy the average coffee drinker.

Why do I like it? When friends come over who are casual coffee drinkers, who might not appreciate the difference between a French and Colombian roast, but would like a hot tasty drink, this helps me serve them quickly. Like other single-serving machines, like Keurig's devices, it delivers coffee speedily, and can do so to the unique tastes of my guests. I can make a fresh pot of standard coffee, or espressos, but to offer variety without adding flavored syrups or taking a long time, I need a single-serve machine.

Nescafe KP210050 Dolce Gusto Single-Serve Coffee Machine, BlackSome drinks require two pods: one for the milk-like foam, and the other for the coffee itself. First, make the foam, then, make the coffee. Others only need on pod, and from it (depending on the pod), you can make either regular coffee, or an espresso-like drink. The directions are clear for every kind of drink. For anyone who finds Caribou or Starbucks acceptable, this will provide a smile. Because Nescafe controls the amount of coffee and the grind, the drink is the same every time.

Pods are not as easily accessible as Keurig's are, as various coffee producers do not seem to make theirs to fit the Dolce Gusto, and so I cannot give this top ranks.

True, my favorite cafe's business will not be challenged, but as I can find the pods, I will keep a stock on the ready when unexpected guests arrive.

--Brockeim

November 08, 2010

November 03, 2010

Amazon Reviewing Report: Dropped 21,644

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card (0109)
And slowly I turned... step by step, inch by inch...Though the votes I receive are few, the change, after years heading the other direction, is flattering. 

A few reviews are in the works, which will add to the 109.

November 3
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 73,273
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,157
Helpful Votes: 911

October 15
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 94,917
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,250
Helpful Votes: 905

October 1 
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 310,062
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,300
Helpful Votes: 900

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card
Amazon.com $25 Gift Card - Box of 50 Cards

Today is Not an Elvis Presley Anniversary - Heartbreak Hotel Video with Lyrics

As far as I know, Elvis Presley didn't celebrate this day any different than another. Not his birthday or any other holiday I can imagine. However, thanks to Chuck Huben, in a semiretired Facebook post, I have this song playing in my head.

It is a great, sad, passionate song of a man who knows what love lost is.



Well, since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell.
Its down at the end of lonely street
At heartbreak hotel.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

And although it's always crowded,
You still can find some room.
Where brokenhearted lovers
Do cry away their gloom.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

Well, the bell hops tears keep flowin,
And the desk clerks dressed in black.
Well they been so long on lonely street
They ain't ever gonna look back.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

Hey now, if your baby leaves you,
And you got a tale to tell.
Just take a walk down lonely street
To heartbreak hotel.

November 01, 2010

Vote for Brockeim - Write in Vote

Don't waste your vote. Get out there and use your freedom. Vote for a candidate you believe in.

But if you know you have no idea, and a write-in is an option, send me some love. Write me in whenever the lot looks otherwise bleak. Then respond to this post when you do.

If you have a photo, e-mail it to me, and I will post it.

brockeim
at
gmail

To Dave Zimmerman

We never met, Dave. We followed each other on Facebook, and each other's blogs.

I knew only a few things about you. I cannot say I knew you well, but still, I think I will miss you.

I knew you loved gospel and folk music, and especially loved it when they mixed. You wrote and you sang with joy and enthusiasm.

I knew you loved baseball, and expect you were disappointed when you realized you would not see how the 2010 World Series would be resolved.

I knew you loved Scrabble. We never played, but we should have. However, I would not have liked being beaten and think you would would have trounced me. In your victory, I am confident you would have been completely gracious as the winner.

I knew you liked books. That is how we first met online, through Amazon's discussion board. We shared this passion.

I knew you loved your family. This was above music, baseball, Scrabble and books. Of all the things I knew of you, this I knew most.

I would have liked to have really known you Dave, over coffee, watching the game, or feuding whether or not a word is actually a word.

Rest in peace, Dave Zimmerman.
June 1, 1954 - October 29, 2010.