Reviews, Romance and Coffee by Brockeim

A Good Day

2012-01-10T18:34:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day. Among the better January 10ths on the list of all January 10ths.

Good coffee, great people, and even a sunny day.

May there be many more.

Thanks to all who said kind things on Facebook, email, Twitter, ESP and other forms of communication.

AT-A-GLANCE Recycled Desk Pad review "2011 Held Up to Love, Wine and Coffee"

2012-01-01T13:07:00.000-05:00

AT-A-GLANCE Recycled Desk Pad, 22 x 17 Inches, White, 2012 (SK24-00)

This is the 2012 calendar. The 2011 version looked much like it.

I cannot review 2012. Not yet. Today is the first day of year, and how can I say how a calendar will hold up 366 days of the year? We have, of course, the bonus Leap Year day thrown in, but, for this calendar, as a monthly, no extra product will exist.

Last year's calendar, though, I have expert knowledge. I was there all 365 days. From the time midnight hit January 1, 2011, until just a few hours ago at 11:59:59 p.m. December 31, 2011, I experienced all of it firsthand. This calendar recorded all of it. Most of it, anyway. The paper, recycled, is durable enough to withstand ink, coffee cups, and the pressure of books waiting to be read.

As a larger desk pad calendar, there is room enough to remember dental appointments and the other mundanities of life. So often, calendar makers do not see beyond Monday-Friday, giving those five days more than their fair share of paper. Not this publisher. They understand Saturday and Sunday are not days we do not exist, but exist as fully as any other.

Saturday needs room, not merely a number. So much life starts on Saturday. "6 am -- Meet -- at The Jupiter Cafe." Then, "Pick up dry cleaning before 10." The rest of the morning and early afternoon is given over to reading, as always, so scheduling it is not important. But at 3:00 p.m., there is transition. Early dinners with beautiful women whose charm lasts long after the moon has traveled over the Earth are noted, with an arrow to a day or two earlier: "Buy wine at --'s Winery and Fine Luxuries." Sundays might find, "Worship at -- Church at 10," and "Visit the gallery at 2. Pick up -- at 1:30 p.m." Thus calendar can, and has, handled all of this.

There is room in each entry for all of the day's events. In the case in which your life has more than a pleasant evening dining scheduled, perhaps this is not for you. There is software to accommodate the more complicated life. But, for the simpler lifestyle, one built around enjoying the people around you, this is a perfect addition to the home desk.

May your days be full with love, wine, and coffee, and people who prefer all.

--Brockeim

Buy a AT-A-GLANCE Recycled Desk Pad, 22 x 17 Inches, White, 2012 (SK24-00).

Mitt Romney ABCified

2011-12-22T05:31:00.000-05:00

Mitt Romney, alphabetized... eimmnortty.

Stopping By Some Bookshelves on a Snowy Evening - Robert Frost Parody (Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening)

2011-12-21T11:07:00.000-05:00

(in celebration of this darkest day of the year, I am reposting a parody of Robert Frist's famous poem. Stopping By Some Bookshelves on a Snowy Evening
(severe apologies to Robert Frost)
Robert Frost books on amazon.com

Whose shelves these are I think I know.
He is off at the bookstore though;
He will not see me stopping here
To read his books and quickly go.

My little friend must think me weird
To stop with a library near
At this home of a friend just left
This twentieth day of the year.

He questions if my brain's bereft
Asking about my conscience's theft
The only other sound's the sweep
Of flipping pages -- language heft.

The shelves are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have "To Be Reads" to keep,
And books to read before I sleep,
And books to read before I sleep.

Robert Frost was a learned man, a true man of letters. His poetry graced more than the shelves of grade school libraries, but of great thinkers, and even John F. Kennedy's presidential inauguration.

Frost had an accessibility not found in many poets. His vocabulary was not overbearing, and his images were not unlike ones anyone growing up in the country would see. You will not struggle to understand the essence of what he his saying as you might with Edna St. Vincent Millay, but his meaning is as layered. Like Emily Dickinson's poetry, his deeper meaning was beguiled by apparent simplicity.

Most of amazon.com's customers are readers who love books as much as they love reading them. We browse our best friend's shelves when we visit their home. We borrow their books, and sometimes, with their permission. Our TBR (To Be Read) list is longer than a child's Christmas letter to Santa, and as desirous.

Many of my guides are parodies of songs, and follow the tune of the original. This one is similar, except is based on Frost's most famous poem, "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening."

I hope you enjoy my look at Frost's poem.

--Brockeim

Spaghetti, Justified

2011-12-20T11:24:00.002-05:00

Spaghetti is nutritional string. Even better when slathered with nutritional paste.

Yesterday's Coffee

2011-12-18T15:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's coffee... sounds poetic, tastes awful. Please, fresh for me.

Tweezerman Facial Hair Scissors review: For Facial Hair and Unwanted Shirt Threads

2011-12-15T17:26:00.001-05:00

Tweezerman Facial Hair Scissors

These sleek, silver, scissors sliced through threads seen only with the finest eyes. True, most days the scissors removed hair from ears and elsewhere, but no more superb thread cutter was found than this.

The Scene: A dim cafe in the Midwest. Third table, by the window, farthest from the door.
The Future: Nancy would walk in the door, with a smile, bringing in sunlight to my life.
The Past: A new shirt purchased just for the occasion.
The Problem: A nagging, unbearable, itchy thread along my left side, just below my arm.
The Tension: Nancy's arrival would be in five minutes. By this time, she had parked her car in the garage and was coming down Charles Street, just around the corner.

The solution was found next door, at a pharmacy. A credit card swipe sped up the transaction. A step into the restroom to discretely cut the offending threads (there were three), and I was done. As I sat down, she stepped in, as lovely as my memory of her.

May your scissors cut all hair, threads and whatever else is needed on time.

Buy a Tweezerman Facial Hair Scissors.

My Amazon Reviews - See the Brockeim Effect

2011-12-12T16:04:00.000-05:00

All of my reviews in a nice, neat page. Just click and enjoy. Tell me what you think.

Schott Zwiesel Tritan Crystal Barware Paris Collection Longdrink 9.3 Ounce, Set of 6 review - Simple, Elegant, Functional Tumbler

2011-12-09T14:16:00.000-05:00

Schott Zwiesel Tritan Crystal Barware Paris Collection Longdrink 9.3 Ounce, Set of 6

This simple cup recognizes no elaborate design. It makes no statement, and is not purchased to say, "Look at me." It exists to be used until no more, and then, to be replaced by its kin. No logos or etchings adorn it. Yet, for all of this, it is attractive.

This tumbler may hold no more than water, some ice, and the occasional lemonade. Expect it to always be graceful in its humility. It is solid enough to use daily, to be used to push a cold drink across the table to a friend as stops by unexpectedly, or to greet a neighbor as he gardens next door.

Clean it in your dishwasher, or in the sink. This cup does not care. Spots will be minimal and invisible.

May your drinks always be refilled, and your neighbors visits frequent.

Order up a set of Schott Zwiesel Tritan Crystal Barware Paris Collection Longdrink 9.3 Ounce, Set of 6.

Cuisinart DCC-RWF1 Replacement Coffeemaker Water Filters Review - Good Coffee Starts with Good Water

2011-12-05T09:02:00.000-05:00

Cuisinart DCC-RWF1 Replacement Coffeemaker Water Filters, Set of 2 by Cuisinart

Good coffee starts with good water and good beans. While having good beans is not always easy, having good water is.

These filters are simple to replace, durable, and, most importantly, they serve the function intended. Water is cleaner for having passed through it. This means your coffee tastes more like coffee and less like chemicals.

I double filter any water I make coffee with. First, it goes through a pitcher-style filter that I use for all water. Next, it filters through the Cuisinart Charcoal Filters.

If you have never replaced your filters, please do so. And go buy some good beans. You will notice the difference in every cup.

Order up a copy of Cuisinart DCC-RWF1 Replacement Coffeemaker Water Filters, Set of 2 by Cuisinart.

I Am Not a Hashtag

2011-12-01T11:30:00.001-05:00

I am not a #hashtag.

I am not an ellipsis...

I am not an exclamation!

(I am not a parenthesis.)

I am not, cannot be, a comma.

I am not so many things.

I am Brockeim.

http://twitter.com/Brockeim

Guinness World Records - Dreams and Laughter Are Found Are Found Here (review)

2011-11-30T18:03:00.000-05:00

Guinness World Records 2012

Dreams and laughter are built with the "Guinness World Records." I know. I grew up dreaming to be included, to have accomplished some astonishing stunt or to have achieved an incredible level of physical prowess. And I laughed at the ridiculous obsessions of some of those who made it.

I'm not in it. I tried a few times with some community events in which the most people to do certain things all at once. Inevitably, we would have far too few participants to impress the editors at "Guinness World Records." It was wonderful to try.

Now, the internet satisfies a lot of my curiosities about the bizarre things people do, but the value of this book remains: to serendipitously discover the amazing people in this world. Real people do these things, and are verified by the book's staff.

Every dentist office, auto fix-it shop, and home coffee table needs a copy of this. Readers won't mind waiting quite as much.

Order up a copy of Guinness World Records 2012.

Assists Turtle Tank Cleaners to Grab the Right Toothbrush - Band-Aids reviewed

2011-11-26T19:32:00.000-05:00

To clean a fish-now-turtle tank, at age eight, delicate devices were required. A quick hot sponge, even with a coarse cleanser, was not enough. A toothbrush, preferably one with hard bristles, flat across, could clear all corners of the vilest of turtle vestiges. I recommend wrapping the handle of the one used on the tank with one of these bandages.

Knowing which toothbrush is for teeth, and which is for industrial-strength home cleaning is important. A smartly placed waterproof Band-Aid will keep order. Tape, if sturdy, could work, but there is not point in using anything except that which handy to any bathroom.

April is turtle season. Not for hunting, but for pet catching. Come around later, and it was clear May was tank cleaning season. All turtles were returned to their homes by then, but they left behind more than memories.

Solving the problem of toothbrushes, however, was unknown to me in these younger years. As it happened, the sale at the Ben Franklin one Saturday brought home two matched brushes in one packet, each blue.

Suited for the bathroom, in the tub, cleaning the tank took only an hour, with rinsing. Church the next morning, rushed as usual with eyes half-closed, had me searching blindly for a toothbrush, for its marketed use. I grabbed the wrong one. The taste, though remarkable, but not pleasant.

When buying like-colored toothbrushes, take measures such as the one I suggest to identify which is meant for your mouth. The taste will make all the difference.

--Brockeim

A Thanksgiving Toast

2011-11-24T10:36:00.000-05:00

I lift a glass to all who have come and gone, who are still here, and to those I've yet to meet.

To the good people in my life, to great blessings I have and love to share, to the hope that tomorrow will be even better.

Set your cynicism and bitterness aside. That has no place today. Take joy in what is around you and with you.

Love those near you, remember those who aren't, and please, come on, pass the apple pie.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Two other places to waste time

2011-11-23T11:53:00.000-05:00

Reminder: Two other places to waste time:

Bits of Nonsense Come in Threes -- Each post are three things you should not have bothered to read.

Coffee Love -- Occasional photos, tales and reviews involving my love of coffee. If I see an interested news bit, I post that as well.

Review: Bourbon: 50 Rousing Recipes for a Classic American Spirit - Nice Recipes for Party Hosts

2011-11-21T20:05:00.000-05:00

Bourbon: 50 Rousing Recipes for a Classic American Spirit (50 Series)
I am not a bourbon fan, not in the way that complex recipes usually involve. I drink it watered down, on ice. I like it that way. Maybe a squirt of lemon or of orange liqueur. That said, my eyes (or taste buds) were opened. More importantly, I have now a tool for treating my guests with more than what I like.

"Bourbon: 50 Rousing Recipes for a Classic American Spirit" is a neat little book. Rousing recipes? That's misleading. After sampling a recipe (or two, or was it three?), I felt more relaxed than roused.

Of the recipes, given my general preferred simplicity of bourbon, "That Horse Race Pie" was my favorite. Apparently its twin brother is the very famous Derby Pie, but legal reasons limit their ability to say. Or maybe they were just being nice to the originators of the pie. Really, though, it is just a variation on pecan pie. In small slices, warmed, with adequate dollops of whipped cream (by adequate, I mean extraordinarily, indulgently generous), it is quite tasty. Good with a Colombian drip coffee, no sugar or cream. A French roast will do as well.

All the recipes are cleanly presented. If you put your drink on a folded napkin, on the spine, near the bottom, it holds open well enough. The introductions to each recipe are occasionally interesting, so, while not actually hosting a party, set the book in your bathroom for quick reading.

In all, if you, like myself, host frequent gatherings, and are looking to expand your library for luscious drinks (not, no lush library, but, with enough testing of the recipes, you can have that as well)... this is the way to go.

--Brockeim

Review: Family Tree Maker 2011 Deluxe - Impressed: Easy to Use, Fun to Do

2011-11-21T16:08:00.001-05:00

Family Tree Maker 2011 Deluxe
I am new to the digital genealogical world, and see this product through that limitation. That said, I am impressed.

What I wanted was a way to organize a massive amount of data. I tried Microsoft Excel, but it simply is not intended to do what I needed.

I have added numerous relatives. Each, as I have data, includes their spouse, parents, and children, along with dates and locations for all related events. I can add photos and various other media, like certificates and other supporting documentation.

Naturally, I have plenty of blanks yet to fill. I have yet to connect my family to either Noah or Adam, but, as I can, I add someone. The word is out among my cousins that I am in the hunt, and so things are trickling in.

I will see a fuller benefit when I hit a critical mass of ancestors. The process is slow going as I dig up the information. However, when I get there, I look forward to seeing my family's range and path mapped out over the years.

There is so much more here that I have yet to explore. A true, complete review will examine every feature, but for me, the ability to connect people in a clean, unlimited way is impressive.

--Brockeim

Review: Smuckers Strawberry Jam - Remember the Best Days of Childhood with Strawberry Jam

2011-11-07T15:38:00.000-04:00

Smuckers® Strawberry Jam - 200 case

Some eat jam because they are hungry. Some eat jam to forget. I eat strawberry jam to remember.

How many years has it been since I was six, and Nancy was six, and we both sat in the lunchroom nervously confused that first week of first grade?

How long has it been since I opened my brown bag in despair, seeing I had only half of a great sandwich? The half missing was the jam. I had two slices of white bread surrounding a couple swooshes of peanut butter.

What all has passed since Nancy, my neighbor from three doors down to the south, smiled (as she always would)and gave me half of her cleanly sliced PBJ?

Her grace and friendship then was not forgotten, and every year, every autumn, I find myself with some jam, a spoon and a smile, wondering if she remembers too.

Grade A, and fancy, and as tasty as any jam outside of your mom's recipe, Smucker's is my regular choice. I hope it helps remind you of good days when you were six.

--Brockeim

Calphalon Stainless Turner review: Perfect for Scooping Chili

2011-09-22T19:14:00.000-04:00

Calphalon Stainless Turner (See all Spatulas)

Thick chili wore a gentle sheen born with simmering eight hours in a stone pot. Brown with reddish undertones, the rich beans and beef and onions, and spices found in a secret part of the cabinet all combined in a melded symphony.

When game time came, and halftime hit, the chili required relief from its pot. Six men needed bowls filled. A spoon would be too slow. A stainless steel turner, retired from its earlier use flipping burgers, rested on the corner, ready for use.

No one saw the quiet silver patina, or the non-slip grip. The motion was effective, fast, and unnoticed, as it should be. The elegant understated style meant nothing, as the tool served its function. Instead, the turner scooped and bowled the chili before the second commercial began. And six men ate their fill, and then ate some more.

A swift rinse, and the stainless steel turner was delivered into the dishwasher.

May your chili always scoop quickly into your bowl.

--Brockeim

Missing Sunsets: All Three

2011-07-29T21:13:00.001-04:00

There are some sunsets no one should miss.

The first, which is often forgotten by those who never saw it.
There is the second, rarely noticed by those enjoying its light.
And the third, never missed or forgotten, but preferred delayed.

Great for Everyday Espresso: Intelligentsia Coffee Black Cat- Regular, Whole Bean Blend (Misc.)

2011-07-05T00:00:00.001-04:00

Great for Everyday Espresso: Intelligentsia Coffee Black Cat- Regular, Whole Bean Blend (Misc.)

This is what I drink (I usually rotate between Illy, Caribou's Sumatra and Black Cat). I first found it fresh in the Intelligentsia's Chicago Loop shop location, and now always buy it as fresh as I can. When I can, I prefer some of their single plantation beans, but the Intelligentsia Black Cat serves as nice everyday espresso.

Sweet, a blend of several beans (Minas Gerais, Brazil and Santa Ana, El Salvador in this case), it finds an excellent balance that successfully avoids the burnt-bitter taste of other espressos.

Feel good about it being direct trade, but buy it because of the quality. Help yourself enjoy it by purchasing it with as few middlemen as possible. I often get mine at a local grocer, but it is already a week old.

Enjoy your next cup.

--Brockeim

Intelligentsia Coffee Black Cat- Regular, Whole Bean Blend

Microbe K

2011-05-30T18:17:00.000-04:00

Microbe K

That's me.

Mayor McCheese Went to City Hall

2011-05-18T00:28:00.000-04:00

Mayor McCheese Went to City Hall
by Brockeim

Mayor McCheese went to City Hall
Asking if he could
take Wendy to the ball.
Said no, said she.
"At home eating pizza,
that's where I'll be."
So Mayor McCheese,
and the Hamburglar too,
left looking for dates,
but stayed home alone, blue.

Mayor McCheese

Roses Read: A Love-filled Bad Poem

2011-05-14T21:27:00.000-04:00

Roses Read: A Love-filled Bad Poem
by Brockeim

Roses, I read,
say nothing of tacos
but they are yellow,
eaten by fellows named Paco.

Glass Red Rose with Vase and Love Swans figurine

Cuts Construction Paper into Perfect Imperfection: review, Scotch Precision Bent Scissor, 8-Inches

2011-05-03T17:23:00.001-04:00

The sleek matte steel finish of the Scotch Precision Bent Scissor sliced through the crisp green construction paper. That's all I wanted it do it, and now it is done.

The blades bit tightly on each side of the sheet. Crunching through, the edges of my project were straight and true. Sharp, yes, it is true, and magnificently so. Comfortable opening and closing the blades, the grips never slipped from my hold.

My project finished imperfectly, per my lack of skill and not the scissors' capacities: I fashioned snowflake-esque shapes as I bode my wait for a phone call. I expect these scissors to live a long life helping distract me from my impatience, and cutting more ordinary things such as coupons and queries from well-meaning politicians delivered by post.

May your scissors cut a sharp line in all your projects.

--Brockeim

Scotch Precision Bent Scissor, 8-Inches (1448B)

Poem for May 3: Remembering You Without a Card

2011-05-03T10:13:00.002-04:00

Poem for May 3: Remembering You Without a Card
For a Long Lost Friend

by Brockeim

I remember.
I remember.

Someone needed to.
So I remembered.

I remember,
forgetting, though, I could,
forgetting as might I should,
but I do remember.

There are more convenient things
to forget.
And more convenient people
to remember.
I remember naked poetry and flirtatious hats,
leather-bound notebooks, and hand-made scarves.
I remember lazy afternoons starting 20 minutes
later than the prescripted time, ending days too soon
as dreaming was offset by life, mammon, and other worlds
less mysterious than the one we invisibly shared.

I remember.

Osama bin Laden is Dead: A Moment of Silence

2011-05-02T02:05:00.000-04:00

Osama bin Laden is dead. I don't get into politics on this blog, but this is big news.

Like most of America, 9-11 struck me hard. It meant things changed, and they changed in ways we could not predict.

Now, the mastermind of 9-11 is dead. I don't know what this means or what will happen.

You happened upon my blog looking for a romantic tale, or a poem, or a book review. There is time enough for that. Or, this post itself showed up in your search and you have no idea what I'm about. That's OK. However, take a look at the clock on your computer or phone or watch.

Let a minute pass quietly, recognizing what is ahead in our nation, and in the world, is something we must approach without fear, with much faith, and with unity to stand against evil wherever it happens.

Peace to all of you.

Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith) Has Died

2011-04-19T16:10:00.001-04:00

Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith on Doctor Who) was lovely, wasn't she?I always thought she and the Doctor might fall in love.

Saw this on Twitter from a friend's post. She has passed away.

Elisabeth Claira Heath Sladen RIP -- February 1, 1948 - April 19, 2011. She was 63).

Search Amazon.com for Sarah Jane Adventures

Scotch-Brite Heavy Duty Scrub Sponges 15 Count: Absorbs Wine and Protects Your Heart review

2011-04-12T23:11:00.000-04:00

<p>&amp;amp;lt;a imageanchor="1" target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/Scotch-Brite-Heavy-Scrub-Sponges-Count/dp/B0017IB544?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;amp;amp;tag=brockeim-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;link_code=bil&amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=213689&amp;amp;amp;amp;creative=392969"&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;img alt="Scotch-Brite Heavy Duty Scrub Sponges 15 Count" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&amp;amp;amp;amp;ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;amp;amp;amp;ID=AsinImage&amp;amp;amp;amp;WS=1&amp;amp;amp;amp;Format=_SL160_&amp;amp;amp;amp;ASIN=B0017IB544&amp;amp;amp;amp;tag=brockeim-20"&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=brockeim-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;l=bil&amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=213689&amp;amp;amp;amp;creative=392969&amp;amp;amp;amp;o=1&amp;amp;amp;amp;a=B0017IB544" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important; padding: 0px !important" border="0" height="1" width="1"&amp;amp;gt;</p>Scotch-Brite Heavy Duty Scrub Sponges 15 Count

When I spilled my wine on Nancy's old oak table, I thought it was over. It should've been. That table was her great-grandfather's, hewn from the woods where his log cabin would soon stand. Handed down from father to son, and then again from father to son, until, now, it was given to her, from father to daughter. When she handed me my glass, I too quickly sipped and set it as I became distracted by her light-green eyes.

With the fear like watching lava approaching a farm home, I trembled. I wretched across the table to grab a napkin. The table was too big. The wine rolled forward.

But she was swift with her sponge. Slipped from off the sink top, her fingers pressed into the cellulosed crevices, and she wiped. The rich, blood-red burgundy glazing the furrowed wood climbed into the sponge until it grew dark with liquid.

My tulip-shaped Bordeaux glass into which she had so delicately poured lay unbroken, despite the fine crystal she claimed it to be. She smiled and lifted my glass, and poured me more.

Relieved, now, as I consider what sponge to buy, I buy these. You can find them stacked under my sink, with several set in strategic places around my home. I know many sponges may be the same, but these will work. Accidentally buying the wrong sponge when, you, like I, may accidentally spill your wine is a risk meant only for the foolish and the lonely. Your heart will still see her eyes, but do not depend a second look on a sponge which may not soak. Buy the ones you can trust.

--Brockeim

Coffee and Chai - A poem for an old friend

2011-04-10T15:19:00.002-04:00

Coffee and Chai
for an old friend
by Brockeim

The strange, sour, not much sweet, sorrow
steps on, steps on.
Sips and sadness, wooden tables and fireplaces,
steps on, steps on.
Sunflowers, red, bloom: and bloom late,
steps on, steps on.

Searching for the philosophers' stone
in words like iron, words like gold.
Searching for meaning, self and past,
steps on, steps on.

Bulk Candy, Nut, Gumball Machine Double Head T Stand review: Twist, Plunk, Truth. Classic Device is Filled With Memories and Great Treats

2011-04-03T20:49:00.001-04:00

Shining glass blockaded me from pleasure. I stood outside the tiny windowed box with my quarter, looking right and left. One quarter, one choice, and time ached for a decision. The brilliant red base held sternly the beautiful bounty above. That beauty, that delicate sweet joy awaiting me caused my heart to tingle. On the right, the tart sharpness of hard candies whistled silently. On the left, the slow smooth chew the highly coveted grape bubblegum balls mixed in with the cherry and orange winked knowingly. I knew what I wanted, and that was the purple gum, but dare I risk my hard-found money and instead receive the deplored pink flavor for my gamble?

The sun flickered off the chrome top as I considered. I sunk my quarter in the left. Twist, plunk, truth. Blueberry. Next time, I thought, will surely be grape.

A gambling man I ought never be, but this is the classic machine found across America. Solid construction, receives money easily, and returns the product quickly. May yours always deliver the best flavor, whether tart, gum or toys.

--Brockeim:

Bulk Candy, Nut, Gumball Machine Double Head T Stand

How to Celebrate National Poetry Month

2011-04-01T21:44:00.003-04:00

What are you going to do about it?

Before ya'll Twitter about, forwarding posts like mine about the wonders of poetry, take a half second to think about it. Thinking means thinking about the poetry part of National Poetry Month. It can be a useless holiday, like National I'm Not Your Mother Day, or National Foosball Swallowers Day. Or, it can have real meaning. That means you can get to know a poem or two, or even entire poet.

Click below this post on the tag 'poetry' and see some of what I have posted here. I have thousands more I have written, mind you, but it is a sample.

How to Celebrate National Poetry Month

I recommend three things:

Buy one book of poetry, read it, and take out another from your library. Blog about them, review them if you can.
This will be showing support of both poetry and of a poet. We ache that publishers do not publish poetry, but there is a reason: profit. That lack of profit isn't their fault. It is ours for buying more Anne Rice blather and less genuine literature. She gets rich, old and bitter at this world which has blessed her while poets starve yet remain active.
Write three poems based on a single theme.
This will be a challenge fir those of you who do not regularly write. That's OK. You bad poetry, like my bad poetry, isn't the point. It is the process of the writing which is the point. True, you might not write so well that it will be published. But with three poems, you will have thought great things, found a creative buzz, and, maybe if things come together, you might smile when you show them to someone knowing you have found a new hobby.
Memorize one poem.
Learning poetry is not just a good discipline of the mind in general, but also helps lift our personal language. We learn new words, nuance, rhythm, rhyme, and meaning.

Let me know. I would love to learn what you are doing.

Search Amazon.com for poetry

Ask Brockeim: I Swoon When I Read Your Poetry

2011-03-29T01:39:00.000-04:00

Letters from readers asking what matters.

Dear Brockeim,

When I read your poetry, I swoon in delight. What your words do to me I cannot type here.

--Blissful Bunny

Dear Bunny,

Please check the natural gas line, and open a window. Also, examine the date on the milk in the fridge. I think it is expired. Try drinking a cup of coffee.

-Brockeim

Looking at the TV After It Flickered Out

2011-03-28T05:31:00.000-04:00

Looking at the TV After It Flickered Out
by Brockeim

In a past life, you and I
were a made-for-TV movie.
You were the girl
with the story no one heard,
and I was the one who listened.
You sang the tune on an old violin,
humming lyrics to a song without words.

The Same Crackers Found in Campfire S'Mores: Honey Maid Fresh Stacks, 12.2-Ounce (Pack of 6) (Grocery) review

2011-03-24T16:15:00.000-04:00

Honey Maid Fresh Stacks, 12.2-Ounce (Pack of 6)

Lingering evenings by campfires, sitting on old stumps, fumbling through the delicious art of s'more making always involves Honey Maid honey grahams. These are those crackers.

Unlike their classic brethren, these are batched in six packs of eight crackers. Otherwise, they are the same. Future campfires can include passing out a pack to each person (I dare not say child, knowing adults love them as well).

The recipe is simple:
* Two crackers make a sandwich around a piece of milk chocolate and a marshmallow.
* Hold tightly together (but not too tight) over a fire with tongs.
* When the chocolate and marshmallow melt just enough to be squishy, eat.
* Wash down with hot chocolate.

Eight crackers are also just enough for a snack, as I am having now, accompanied by orange juice.

--Brockeim

Progressive International GMMC-68 Microwavable S'Mores Maker

White Diamonds By Elizabeth Taylor For Women, Eau De Toilette Spray, 3.3-Ounce review: A Scent That Begins Romance

2011-03-23T11:09:00.000-04:00

White Diamonds By Elizabeth Taylor For Women, Eau De Toilette Spray, 3.3-Ounce

Before I saw her, I wondered, and before we exchanged glances, I smiled. Her scent was familiar, classic, alluring yet set apart. Syncopated between the brusk but pleasant notes of espresso in a favorite cafe, I found her engaging me with the gentle warmth of White Diamonds.

Turning from my table, I saw her equal to my imagination. She too turned, and we shared a glance, then conversation. The poetry I had been reading paled as I learned her name, and her voice.

What more could I want from a perfume that embodies the modern and the sophisticated beauty of Elizabeth Taylor?

May your visits to cafes be as serendipitously delicious as mine. Begin by wearing White Diamonds, and be ready to say hello when a man reading Keats turns to greet you.

--Brockeim

Ask Brockeim: Lounge Singer?

2011-03-16T02:23:00.000-05:00

Letters from readers asking what matters.

Dear Brockeim,

Your reviews are so cheesy with romance. Are you a lounge singer?

--Cynic in Seattle

Dear Cynic,

No. Lounge singers have found their inner 'Burt Bacharach' whilst I can't even find my inner 'Tony Clifton'.

-Brockeim

She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron

2011-03-13T14:10:00.000-05:00

Read aloud, and think of her, who you know, who you have known, and know beauty in your heart. My heart, now, just in reading this as I post it, smiles.

She Walks in Beauty
by Lord Byron

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Amazon Reviewing Report: Ranked 8.01 Million (Where's the Love?)

2011-03-12T22:00:00.000-05:00

March 12, 2011

Customer Reviews: 136

New Reviewer Rank: 8,010,422
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,920
Helpful Votes: 983

Love is hard to find in a cynical world. I bare my heart on Amazon in my reviews, and in return? On one review, not so much love. Apparently, someone believes a product must only be used as the marketing people tell you to use it. Is that one review the reason? I cannot say. See my reviews and you tell me.

Real reviews, real romance about products as I use them. Follow me on Amazon.

January 30, 2011

Customer Reviews: 122

New Reviewer Rank: 7,797,830
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,936
Helpful Votes: 954

January 28, 2011
Customer Reviews: 122
New Reviewer Rank: 102,971
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,932
Helpful Votes: 953

December 2
Customer Reviews: 115
New Reviewer Rank: 7,420,986
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,120
Helpful Votes: 920

November 13
Customer Reviews: 113
New Reviewer Rank: 60,742
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,165
Helpful Votes: 916

November 3
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 73,273
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,157
Helpful Votes: 911

October 15
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 94,917
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,250
Helpful Votes: 905

October 1
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 310,062
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,300
Helpful Votes: 900

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card
Amazon.com $25 Gift Card - Box of 50 Cards

Bright Lights, Big City - Jimmy Reed

Beautiful Picture of the Elegant Luna Moth: Male Luna Moth Photographic Poster Print by Adam Jones, 24x32 review

2011-03-08T16:35:00.000-05:00

She floated in like moonlight and grace. Her gown lilted in the spring breeze with angelic elegance. Alighting on rough bark, or on moist soil, her delicacy brightened and refined the coarse earth. This is her week of regal love.

Her home is oak, cherry, chestnut or sumac. It could be hickory, maple, beech or willow. But her true home, for her one week of life, is in the air. April wind is the robe this princess wears, and her kingdom is the night. A perfumed huntress, she lives only to entice a lover, then, gives life to 200 children. Flying off lonely, she lands and dies.

Here, you see her mate, the male Luna Moth. His wings are spread four and a half inches to welcome his beloved, or to wave his sorrowed good-bye.

May this brilliant poster of a male Luna Moth remind you always of the brief and excellent passion found one April evening.

--Brockeim

Male Luna Moth Photographic Poster Print by Adam Jones, 24x32
GRACE KELLY 24X36 B&W POSTER PRINT

Speedy, Adequate Espresso: review: Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3)

2011-03-07T15:11:00.000-05:00

I own and use regularly an espresso machine. The Nescafe Dolce Gusto machine isn't that. It is a single-cup brewer. What it is, however, is a solution when time is in the way.

My home is open, and friends know they are welcome to stop by without much notice. The beauty of this is I can enjoy the company of wonderful people. The challenge is that my time to prepare is minimal. Using a single cup system, I meet their needs, while focusing on hosting duties. Given time, I can grind beans, whip cream, and more. Without time, guests can still enjoy a better than average espresso.

The term 'espresso' is used here loosely, but accurately. Unlike some single cup systems, high pressure is used to make the espresso. Is it the same as a standard espresso machine? No. It is not that sophisticated. Still, for what is asked of this machine, the espresso flavor is very good. There is a nice crema, and the roast is medium to slightly dark. Those looking for a stronger flavor ought look elsewhere, but, for the average chain coffee house customer, this will be more than adequate.

A better solution for those looking for speed with a more authentic espresso should invest in a standard espresso machine and ESE pods. The pods are single-serve, ready-made. However, if you own the Nescafe Dolce Gusto machine, and love its convenience (great for other flavors), give these a shot. Keep them handy when friends honor your home with an unexpected visit.

--Brockeim

Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3)

Big Boss Juicer, 700W 18,000 RPM review: Better than Expected Juicer for Me, a Juicing Neophyte

2011-03-07T11:56:00.000-05:00

With trepidation, I opened the box. My first juicer. My friends all have them and use them. This one, the Big Boss Juicer, is an entry level one compared to theirs. I cannot say I was only a little intimidated.

The directions were clear, eliminating concern number one: could I put it together. Yes.

Would it work easily? Yes. Dropping various vegetables and fruits in (different drinks), from carrots to tangerines to strawberries to apples, all worked well.

Some pulp found its way through to my glass, and I had to tilt the device to pour remaining juice.

Would it taste good? The carrot juice was too much, but might serve well as a sweetener. The apple juice was authentic, better than the grocery store brand names. A little cinnamon might help. Leveling off the recipes of the others is a work in progress. I could see adding a shot of vodka might help some.

How does it clean? Be careful here. Sharp edges. It cleans general well, but attention need to be spent on the filter.

I am happy with the Big Boss Juicer. I am not ready to say I want the next level up, but I am enjoying experimenting with the drinks.

--Brockeim

Big Boss Juicer, 700W 18,000 RPM

Haiku for a Snowbound Reviewer Drinking Espresso

2011-03-03T18:07:00.000-05:00

Haiku for a Snowbound Reviewer Drinking Espresso
by Brockeim

Snowflakes fall to die,
to sweeten my espresso
as I write reviews.

Of All the Gin Joints in All the Towns in All the World: Casablanca, As Time Goes By

2011-03-02T15:17:00.000-05:00

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." Casablanca (movie). The line is on my mind today. I am avoiding all gin joints as a result.

As Time Goes By (from 'Casablanca') (mp3 - $0.99)

You know the scene. Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine has just met Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) after years away. She left him in Paris without notice, and he was left tormented. "As Time Goes By" was the song he remembered, and so, asked it never be played again.

I allude to the movie in two reviews:

My Blue Pen Writes Well on All Occasions: Foray® Retractable Ballpoint Pens, 1.0 mm, Medium Point, Assorted Barrel, Blue Ink, Pack Of 12 review

2011-03-01T16:13:00.000-05:00

The Foray Ballpoint Pen is just a pen. Blue ink. Retractable. 1.0 mm (standard if not thin). Just like it says. Mine is the blue one.

I carry this pen with me wherever. Where I was, where I remember, where Nancy and I met is where I think of now: in a cafe in the upstairs of a bookstore where we talked of poetry. I took notes, read her poems. The ink never failed me.

The pen is here now on my desk as I write. Still full of ink. Comfortable to hold. It never streaks or skips. It will write other things. I will remember what it once wrote.

I knew soon after we connected, when I realized we connected, heartbreak was the only end. Heartbreak starts when the end is in sight, and it was always in sight.

So I am sad because I cannot pretend, because I cannot smile and think my smile is true. It could never really be, but I smiled anyway. I was happy.

I am sad we will not have tea the way we had tea and talk about the construct of a poem. But I will still write, and likely, the Foray Ballpoint Pen will be the one I use.

--Brockeim

Foray® Retractable Ballpoint Pens, 1.0 mm, Medium Point, Assorted Barrel, Blue Ink, Pack Of 12

Acceptable Haircut Kit for the Ordinary Person: review: Remington Products HC5550AM Professional Cord/cordless Rechargeable Haircut Kit with Turbo Boost:

2011-02-28T10:29:00.000-05:00

Sometimes in the flurry of writing all day, of venturing into galleries, and sipping coffee in cafes reading old magazines left by earlier customers, a haircut is skipped. In that flurry, time is spare, but trims are needed. My haircut kit arrived just in time.

Testing all the attachments would not be done. The main trimmer sufficed. The trimming I needed was behind my neck. With this, the Remington Products HC5550AM Professional Haircut Kit sufficed. It charged quickly, indicated when I could use it, and provided the grooming necessary. The device cleaned easily, though hardly was required. It felt comfortable to hold, and the two levels of speed work with the touch of a switch.

Missing on my model, but on a different model is the feature indicating how much time is left to use before charging again. The USB charger will be handy if I ever travel and have a trimming emergency, but I think it may go used as an electrical outlet will probably be nearby.

Soon, I will need the skills of a trained stylist. Today, and for a while, I can avoid this expense.

May your hair be forever in place, but when a few strands go renegade, keep them in check by trimming with a Remington Haircut Kit.

--Brockeim

Remington Products HC5550AM Professional Cord/cordless Rechargeable Haircut Kit with Turbo Boost

Sophisticated Practicality: Cashmere Feel Camel, Black, White and Red Plaid Scarf (review)

2011-02-15T10:55:00.000-05:00

Never have I worn a more comforting scarf. In the cool of an early November evening, just after dusk, when the breeze blows inward, flirtatiously, willing, and yet tentatively, the secure warmth of a classic plaid scarf is like a hearth-bound fire, all girded in goodness, all gentle and sure.

The plaid pattern, of course, brings a sophisticated though pleasantly masculine presence to whatever you might wear. It has an afternoon tea-like class to it, but a brisk morning practicality. Whether tossed on as an accessory on your way to see "Don Giovanni," or part of a snow-shoveling ensemble, you'll find these scarves meeting the intended need without compromise.

--Brockeim

Cashmere Feel Camel, Black, White and Red Plaid Scarf

Cashmere Feel Camel, Black, White and Red Plaid Scarf

Still Rambling: A Love Poem

2011-02-14T14:13:00.000-05:00

Still Rambling: A Love Poem
by Brockeim

I rambled on
and she stood still.
I rambled on
and she's listening still.
I rambled on
and I rambled on
and there she is,
still.

Love is Walking Hand In Hand (Peanuts)

Love Is (Isn't It?)

2011-02-14T09:38:00.000-05:00

I love you all. May today be filled with passion and your heart's delight.

Other People's Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See

Speedy, Adequate Espresso: Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3) review

2011-02-13T19:51:00.000-05:00

<a imageanchor="1" target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/Nescafe-Brewers-Espresso-16-Count-Capsules/dp/B001H0FHZA?ie=UTF8&tag=brockeim-20&link_code=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969"><img alt="Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3)" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=B001H0FHZA&tag=brockeim-20"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=brockeim-20&l=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B001H0FHZA" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" border="0" height="1"><a imageanchor="1" target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/Nescafe-Brewers-Espresso-16-Count-Capsules/dp/B001H0FHZA?ie=UTF8&tag=brockeim-20&link_code=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969"><img alt="Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3)" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=B001H0FHZA&tag=brockeim-20"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=brockeim-20&l=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B001H0FHZA" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" border="0" height="1">I own and use regularly an espresso machine. The Nescafe Dolce Gusto machine isn't that. It is a single-cup brewer. What it is, however, is a solution when time is in the way.

My home is open, and friends know they are welcome to stop by without much notice. The beauty of this is I can enjoy the company of wonderful people. The challenge is that my time to prepare is minimal. Using a single cup system, I meet their needs, while focusing on hosting duties. Given time, I can grind beans, whip cream, and more. Without time, guests can still enjoy a better than average espresso.

The term 'espresso' is used here loosely, but accurately. Unlike some single cup systems, high pressure is used to make the espresso. Is it the same as a standard espresso machine? No. It is not that sophisticated. Still, for what is asked of this machine, the espresso flavor is very good. There is a nice crema, and the roast is medium to slightly dark. Those looking for a stronger flavor ought look elsewhere, but, for the average chain coffee house customer, this will be more than adequate.

A better solution for those looking for speed with a more authentic espresso should invest in a standard espresso machine and ESE pods. The pods are single-serve, ready-made. However, if you own the Nescafe Dolce Gusto machine, and love its convenience (great for other flavors), give these a shot. Keep them handy when friends honor your home with an unexpected visit.

--Brockeim

Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3)

Chopin's Solo Piano Reminds Me of Romance: The 99 Most Essential Chopin Masterpieces (Amazon Exclusive) review

2011-02-10T14:14:00.002-05:00

While traveling, I caught a concert in a church. Chopin's delicate "Nocturnes" highlighted the evening, drawing not only me, but Nancy. She sat near the front, on the right.

She paused while leaving to thank the pianist. Fascinated by her accent, her voice and her smile, I could not help but smile in return as we both exited into the foyer.

"Chopin's my favorite," she said, "Though I could be inclined for Bach, if the mood is good." Naturally I agreed, and, without guile or hesitation, asked her to join me in a walk along the river. We both knew there was no river, but we walked anyway. Darkness ran into morning, and we sipped espresso while sitting close on a nonexistent bridge overlooking the nonexistent river. Imagining boats going by, she noted the lights were beautiful against the shimmer of the slowly rising sun on the water. But the sun finished rising, and I was soon returning home.

"But what about us?" she asked.

"We'll always have the river. We didn't have it, we found it when you came to hear Chopin. We found it last night." We might as well have been in Paris, and she might have been Ilsa. (Casablanca)

To all of this, these 99 pieces composed by Chopin, from the Nocturnes to the Sonatas, are beautiful, gentle, and worthy of their small fee. May they remind you of a warm night listening in a church.

--Brockeim

The 99 Most Essential Chopin Masterpieces (Amazon Exclusive)

Brilliant Choice for Reading and Frightening Cockroaches: GE 11585-12 A21 Incandescent Soft White Light Bulb, 200-Watt, 12-Pack review

2011-02-10T12:39:00.002-05:00

Some days need more light than others, and on the dim afternoons, when all is bleak and lonely, this little light is the one to shine.

At 200 Watts, this soft white bulb will reach into every corner. Cockroaches will find your abode no home for their families. However, its use is more than the bane of vile vermin. Though it ubiquitously streams its luminance into the nests and nooks of nasty insects, the bulb brings forth ease for all readers no matter how light or deep the book.

When Saturday hits, and there's a rain dropping down gray clouds and overcast skies, flip the switch with one of these in the socket. Find your next favorite book, and begin a new reading adventure, confident your bulb will be there throughout each page.

With the right shade to disperse the light, this bulb will brighten the room in a smart way without the inconsistent irritating buzzing of a fluorescent tube. You, and a hot chocolate, can sit on the laziest of chairs and linger through the longest of books without ever so much as one eye tiring.

It will last 750 hours. That will bring you 150 five-hour Saturday afternoons, or, if you read at a pace of 150 pages a Saturday, around 105 of the last Newberry Winners and Honor Books, going all the way back to 1974. Those are superb books deserving the whitest of lights, and this beauty will give these books the glory they earned.

Buy several and make your home a happy place for you and your books, and an unhappy one for the six-legged beasts which now roam.

--Brockeim

GE 11585-12 A21 Incandescent Soft White Light Bulb, 200-Watt, 12-Pack

Tasty, But Underwhelming Cereal on a Frozen February Morning: Crunchy Nut Roasted Nut and Honey, 10.8-Ounce (Pack of 4) reviewed

2011-02-04T18:22:00.000-05:00

"February made me shiver," sang Don McLean when remembering our loss of Buddy Holly. As a blizzard moved into the Midwest this February, and freezing temperatures took over, the shivering started.

Proper planning would have supplied me with a broader range of food before the storm, but... that's the thing. I didn't. Snowed in, I could not leave. The United States Postal Service, however, was undaunted, however, and left the box of Crunchy Nut Roasted Nut and Honey at my doorstep, thanks to Amazon.com. Though not starving, I appreciated the newness of the cereal, different from my usual Cheerios, Apple Jacks and raisin bran. Would it be different enough to add to my routine?

Like as when manna came for the Israelites, I gave thanks. While watching "The Thin Man" series the next morning, I ate the cereal dry (as I usually do), reaching into the box as if it were popcorn.

What's In A Name?

* The crunch: loud and grinding, much like the sound of a dog eating a Milk Bone.

* The roasted nut: reminiscent of other cereal peanut butter flavors.

* The honey: I never tasted honey. I tasted a sweet undertone, but not distinctly honey.

* The 10.8 ounces: One box. It took three movies to finish.

I enjoyed the Crunchy Nut Roasted Nut and Honey, but cannot say I found it distinguished from any other cereal. The flavor is underwhelming, but adequate. I may have it in rotation, but it will not be a staple. May your coldest days be warmer with a good breakfast, excellent mail delivery, and Myrna Loy.

--Brockeim

Colorful Paperclip Secures Sundry Files and Envelopes: ACCO Nylon Coated Jumbo Paper Clips, 150 Clips Per Box, 1 Box, Assorted Colors (72520) by ACCO

2011-02-03T02:22:00.000-05:00

ACCO Nylon Coated Jumbo Paper Clips, 150 Clips Per Box, 1 Box, Assorted Colors (72520)

Nancy arrived at the cafe where I often write. She sat down. We might have talked for hours as we often would. We didn't. She meekly smiled, opened my black notebook (which I brought out of habit), and fastened an envelope with a paperclip. She whispered something as she left.

Sleek, carefully curved, and firm, the pink clip held tight the crisp envelope inside. These paperclips we used at work when we first met. Nancy introduced herself one morning last year as my editor. I gave her an article draft, and she clipped it inside a manila folder. Conversation followed. The next few months were beautiful.

Now, Nancy edits elsewhere. The envelope and paperclip are still secured. Never rusting, the clip's vinyl covering protects the paper from dark ruddy stains. This one paperclip holds the balance of memories. Until I open the envelope, her letter says what I like. I expect this to continue.

The box contains 150 paperclips of all colors, which, for any office, is not enough, but for the casual home desk, might do.

May your rough drafts, envelopes from lovers, and sundry office files be properly organized with ACCO Nylon Coated Paper Clips.

--Brockeim

The Lime Tree - a poem

2011-01-31T01:24:00.001-05:00

Under a Lime Tree
by Brockeim

Can you, once again,
look beneath the lime tree,
and see if I am here?

You found me here once,
among the ripe yellow limes,
fallen, wishing they could seed.

I have sat here now for hours.
Only shadows were moving,
but now, there is you.

What do you see?
Am I still beneath the lime tree,
or have I gone looking for you?

Search Amazon.com for real lime trees

Amazon Reviewing Report: Ranked 7.8 Million and Rising

2011-01-30T13:51:00.000-05:00

January 30, 2011

Customer Reviews: 122

New Reviewer Rank: 7,797,830
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,936
Helpful Votes: 954

Remarkably impressive is the saga of change. Besides a recent a flood of negative votes on one review begun by a strange 14 year-old, not much change since two days ago. That is, excepting for my rank, higher than ever.

See my reviews. Follow me on Amazon as an 'interesting person'.

January 28, 2011
Customer Reviews: 122
New Reviewer Rank: 102,971
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,932
Helpful Votes: 953

December 2
Customer Reviews: 115
New Reviewer Rank: 7,420,986
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,120
Helpful Votes: 920

November 13
Customer Reviews: 113
New Reviewer Rank: 60,742
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,165
Helpful Votes: 916

November 3
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 73,273
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,157
Helpful Votes: 911

October 15
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 94,917
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,250
Helpful Votes: 905

October 1
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 310,062
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,300
Helpful Votes: 900

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card
Amazon.com $25 Gift Card - Box of 50 Cards

Bright Lights, Big City - Jimmy Reed

Amazon Reviewing Report: Back to 100K and Petty Insults

2011-01-28T17:08:00.001-05:00

January 28, 2011
Customer Reviews: 122
New Reviewer Rank: 102,971
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,932
Helpful Votes: 953

A laughable spate of negative votes on a recent review (Levana LV-TW501 Safe N See Digital Video Baby Monitor) along with a petty personal attack by a troll in the comments shows me that for some unknown reason, my reviews intimidate readers.

I have added several new reviews. Check 'em out. Besides a baby monitor, there is one for a new kind of Oreos, Cyrano de Bergerac, a measuring cup, and coffee flavored candy.

My rank is dancing. Was 7.4 million, and a month and a half later, it is just under 103,000. Why?

December 2
Customer Reviews: 115
New Reviewer Rank: 7,420,986
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,120
Helpful Votes: 920

November 13
Customer Reviews: 113
New Reviewer Rank: 60,742
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,165
Helpful Votes: 916

November 3
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 73,273
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,157
Helpful Votes: 911

October 15
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 94,917
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,250
Helpful Votes: 905

October 1
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 310,062
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,300
Helpful Votes: 900

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card
Amazon.com $25 Gift Card - Box of 50 Cards

Bright Lights, Big City - Jimmy Reed

Monitor Babies and Coffee From a Quiet Distance: Levana LV-TW501 Safe N See Digital Video Baby Monitor with Talk-to-Baby Intercom and Lullaby Control (Electronics) review

2011-01-27T15:47:00.001-05:00

Levana LV-TW501 Safe N See Digital Video Baby Monitor with Talk-to-Baby Intercom and Lullaby Control (Electronics)

Your baby, and your coffee-drinking guests, will enjoy your full attention, even when in another room.

I held a party of fellow artists. Four of a dozen guests all agreed coffee would be wonderful. Brewing as quickly as I could, I returned to attend to the bustling discussion comparing Cezanne and Van Gogh. Like any gathering of artists, movement defined even the stillest among them. Though my home, all felt comfortable serving themselves.

It took little to notice five mugs being used at the bar. Another glance confirmed two more mugs being carried off to the living room. That was seven mugs of coffee in all. My brewer only makes 12 cups. Each would want refills. It was good coffee (a roast from Honduras) and an understandable desire.

Setting up the Safe N'See Digital Video Baby Monitor with Talk-to-Baby Intercom and Lullaby Control, I found a solution. Rather than monitor a sleeping child (or, more importantly, the awake and upset child), I kept awatch on coffee quantity. When the carafe dropped to two cups, I readied more.

Other features became unexpectedly useful. The sun set, the lights were dim, and still, I could see clearly my brewer enough. One guest found his way to the adjacent wine rack, thinking to help himself to some choice port. The "Talk-to-Baby Intercom" allowed me, as the 'voice of conscience' let him know that bottle was off-limits. The lullabies were pleasant enough, but Billie Holiday was the soundtrack for our night. With perfect accuracy, it told me the temperature. Too warm for a baby at 73°F, but my guests, much older, found the air gentle, if not hot, closer to the fireplace.

--Brockeim

Plenty of Chocolate and Mint, Not Enough Oreo: Oreo Mint Fudge Cremes, 8.5-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 4) by Oreo review

2011-01-24T19:27:00.002-05:00

Oreo Mint Fudge Cremes, 8.5-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 4) by Oreo

Cookies and coffee? Excellent.

Chocolate and coffee? Here can be found truth.

Chocolate covered cookies? That is where this indulgence begins.

Slice open a cookie. See the layers of cookie, with white mint thinly covering it, all covered and surrounded in chocolate.

As Oreos, I would not consider them. The relationship to Oreos is lost with the abundance of chocolate. While not a problem, the Oreo name is misleading. They are more like thick Thin Mints, those sold by the Girl Scouts.

Each cookie is 57 calories with a little iron, dietary fiber and potassium to help justify their kitchen presence. The label considers three (one seventh of the box) one serving, and I found this to be accurate to that last bite.

--Brockeim

Search Amazon.com for Oreos

Rereading Rostand: A True Tale of Hasty Love in a Bookstore With Cyrano

2011-01-24T01:21:00.000-05:00

I am rereading and English translation of Edmond Rostand's play "Cyrano de Bergerac." I recently reviewed the 1950 movie, and was hungry for more.

I first read it quickly in an antiquarian bookseller where I am friends with the owner.

His bookstore is like a private library for me. Thousands of books, and more in a dark corrugated metal warehouse in the back. Near the front window is an old round table. Who knows what previous use it had, but now, it stored things. These things were just that, an unorganized menagerie of items that should, but didn't, have a home. Bookmarks, covers of books they independently published, empty cases of metal type, a pencil cup without a pencil. Why wasn't it a cup intended for pens? Not here. Pens have no place making new, permanent marks in books older than any living animal.

Not all of his books were old, and not all were valuable in any other way either. Some were just there to fill the shelves and make a few dollars. Most of those, like Cyrano, were overpriced. Let there be no romantic illusion about this quaint bookstore. It was and is a business as much as the largest corporation. The owner knew any customer willing to pay $500 for a pamphlet from 1850 might be interested in an old, but otherwise insignificant edition of Cyrano. It isn't that he hoodwinked customers. Value is in the eye of the beholder, and this edition had its rustic charm. He made enough to buy a home in the woods for his wife and six children, and a dog, and more books.

Bookstores like his are both in direct competition with Amazon.com, and opposite, all at once. His books are online, but Harry Potter cannot be found. Some is one of a kind, and other books on his shelves, like Cyrano, are probably in any antiquarian shop.

Our lunch plans were slowed when a rash of paying customers came in. Five minutes became over two hours so I read a copy he had I started a couple of lunches earlier.

This wasn't reading so much as it was soaking and getting soaked. I gulped this wine instead of sipping. It went to my head well enough, and, like a drunk then, I returned. Wisdom stayed away in my haste, but almost a decade has passe. Older, wiser, ready for passion that does not finish before lunch.

Now, like a lover with hours to smile, I kissed carefully as I begun a new reading through of the play. The edition I am reading is translated into English by Bryan Hooker. My copy is less beautiful that most you may have seen, but my comfort comes from our deciduous and delightful conversation, falling in and out of inexplicably blissful moments to ecstatic ones, and again.. A book, a play, even the shortest poem must be kissed if it is to be loved, and must be loved if it is to be kissed.

Each night, most nights, I read slowly. The whispers coming only to me. I am silent, listening, trying to see not what José Ferrer or Gerard Depardieu saw, but what Rostand himself saw 100 years ago.

And what is a kiss, specifically? A pledge properly sealed, a promise seasoned to taste, a vow stamped with the immediacy of a lip, a rosy circle drawn around the verb 'to love.' A kiss is a message too intimate for the ear, infinity captured in the bee's brief visit to a flower, secular communication with an aftertaste of heaven, the pulse rising from the heart to utter its name on a lover's lip: 'Forever.'
- Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac, Act 3

A Magnificent José Ferrer Makes This Cyrano a Classic: Cyrano de Bergerac

2011-01-19T16:07:00.000-05:00

José Ferrer is Cyrano de Bergerac. That fact alone is enough to see this version. I say this with the confidence that, until this week, until watching the Hal Roach edition of the 1950 version, Gérard Depardieu owned the role.

In Depardieu's favor was his charm and average or even unattractive appearance. So likable, so gentile, yet not enough. Depardieu was terrific, but he was not as fierce and as bitter as Ferrer in the first part of the movie. Depardieu's obsessive rage was acted, not owned. Ferrer, to the contrary, for me, demonstrated the proper depth of bitterness, insecurity, arrogance, wit, and broken heartedness.

The story is simple: an ugly poet/master swordsman (Cyrano) loves a beautiful woman (Roxanne), but is too insecure to tell her. She in turn loves a pretty boy soldier (Christian) who, by his own admission, is void of wit. Christian does not realize Cyrano loves the same woman. Each man uses the other to successfully reach into the woman's heart. She overcomes her shallow view of beauty, but the ugly poet remains diffident and unwilling to risk his heart to her.

José Ferrer is more than the star here. Cyrano's love for Roxanne is truly the story, with no subplots woven in. He capably goes from bold leader to broken man and back again. This puts Ferrer's skill to the test, to engage the audience from scene to scene, emotion to emotion.

When he fights dozens of men to protect the baker, I believe it. Unlike many great swashbuckling movies, the choreograph is not fluid. It appears chaotic, like a street fight would be.

This movie, Cyrano de Bergerac, is left open to criticism, like that so much was filmed on a stage. We see painted backdrops instead of a genuine wartime sky. Outside of a cane and slow steps, no one seemed older in the final garden scenes. The costuming is impressive, but, beyond that spectacular nose, the makeup is not. That could all be easily improved.

Mala Powers as Roxanne worked well enough, though vacuously. I saw her as shallow yet stunningly beautiful from beginning to end. A better actress may have been found as some scenes she played as more of a place keeper than love interest.

It is easy to feel for Christian, played by William Prince. Though he is lacking Cyrano's wit, his passion is real. He is brave and bright, but not when it comes to poetry. His sword is mightier than his pen, but he makes no pretense and asks Cyrano for help.

A few production value concerns do not hold back the movie, but they do exist. However, with the consuming power of Academy Award winning actor José Ferrer as the focal point, Cyrano de Bergerac receives top marks from me.

--Brockeim

Cyrano de Bergerac DVD

Cyrano De Bergerac - Trailer (1950)

Watch the entire movie free here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i9PGWIjjQI

84, Charing Cross Road - Friendship with Depth and Love

2011-01-18T16:41:00.000-05:00

Reviewing the DVD 84 Charing Cross Road

In these days of e-books, and bland books constructed from franchised ideas and formulas, we are presented 84 Charing Cross Road, a story about a relationship begun because of a mutual love of old great books.

Anthony Hopkins and Anne Bancroft share a film highlighting both of their genuine personas.

Like Hopkins in Shadowlands and The Remains of the Day (Special Edition), we see him in full glory, as a quiet man of grace and sophistication.

He owns the English bookstore, and Bancroft's character mails him a request for a book.

Correspondence and a relationship begins. Contently and confidently married, Hopkins responds as an older brother might, and the two grow to cherish each other despite the distance.

As they care for each other, and slowly, their local friends and family become aware, we see how love transcends the sea. Neither character has an agenda, and this left me feeling a little less cynical about the world around me.

Like so many of today's e-mail- and chatroom-only friendships, they learn to appreciate each other, though knowing only the other as they choose to describe themselves.

This isn't a story about books or bookstores, despite the honest representation of their demeanor and personality. Any booklover knows the search for a book, and the texture of a bookseller's knowledge and connection with his books.

This is a movie about the depth, trust, and love of one unexpected relationship. Book lovers will enjoy the context, and good friends will smile knowingly.

(movie is based on Helene Hanff's book, 84, Charing Cross Road)

--Brockeim

Holds Two Cups of Coffee in Support of a Long Workday Pyrex Prepware 2-Cup Measuring Cup, Clear with Red Measurements

2011-01-15T13:08:00.000-05:00

A Pyrex Prepware 2-Cup Measuring Cup left on the counter of my company's kitchen took a Friday from agony to survival.

One Friday workday after sunset was only half done. Deadlines cannot be negotiated, and so my labor continued. Staring long at my unfeeling monitor, I knew it would offer no compassion to my aching body and tired soul. Hope seemed plundered as problem added to problem compiled exponentially through the day. My desk only supported misery. I made a dash for the break room.

Forgotten coffee remained in the office pot, heating now for three hours. Nearly full, I looked at it with compromised desire. Though not the coffee of my choice, I also saw I had no other option. No ordinary mug would do. My office was a long walk from the kitchen. I need something large.

Can I measuring cup be a coffee mug? I needed only that it carry hot coffee. This cup accepted 1500 ml -- two cups of my favorite elixir. Where it lacked in style, it made up for in efficient functionality. My remaining hours of work were not less long, but they were endured.

May your difficult days be offset by sufficient coffee to get you through the night.

--Brockeim

Search Amazon.com for Pyrex

Ammy - Singalong With Brockeim (parody of Barry Manilow's "Mandy")

2011-01-13T18:17:00.000-05:00

Ammy
(severe apologies to Barry Manilow)

I remember all my life
Readin' stuff -- Capote's In Cold Blood
Pope's Essay on Man
(Saw Hitchcock's Rear Window)
Readin' in the night
The night goes into
Mornin', just another day
Bookless people pass my way
Lookin' in their eyes
I see no memories
I never realized
How happy you made me, oh Ammy

CHORUS

Well I logged on, browsed without buyin'
And you took me away, oh Ammy
Well, you sold me and stopped me from spyin'
I bought from you today, oh Ammy
Flipping through my shelf at home
Walked away with a best-loved tome
Sucked up in a book of brain primin'
Thoughts now are in my mind
And nothing is rhymin', oh Ammy

CHORUS

Your site's just a dream
I face the mornin'
Loggin' on all pleased
Amland is callin', oh Ammy

CHORUS

Well I logged on, browsed without buyin'
And you took me away, oh Ammy
Well, you sold me and stopped me from spyin'
I bought from you today, oh Ammy

Who Is Ammy?
Ammy is a nickname for amazon.com used fondly on the reviewer discussion board there.

Barry Manilow wrote many of songs that surround my generation. He wasn't a Bob Dylan revolutionary or a Rolling Stones rebel. Mostly, he sang (and sings) love songs. Fans of Neil Diamond, Olivia Newton-John, the Carpenters have all enjoyed Barry Manilow.

I shop at amazon.com frequently, as do many of you reading this. "Ammy" is my tribute, if you will, to this wonderful site. It isn't the only online bookstore, nor does it have everything. It has plenty, and I like it.

I hope you enjoy my parody.

--Brockeim

Brockeim Impresses Them in London, UK on Amazon: World Enough, and Time (Timex Mens Watch T20501PF with White Dial and Black Leather Strap)

2011-01-11T08:36:00.002-05:00

"I cannot even begin to match Brockeim's review of this watch (well worth a read) but it's easily as good as he says."

That's what Alex Baird in London said about my review in his own review. He was referring to my oft-quoted review, as seen in this blog before: World Enough, and Time (Timex Mens Watch T20501PF with White Dial and Black Leather Strap)

A classic style, with classic lines and curves, and leather to band it all underside enlivens time as if it were the first sun rising. Timex brings in this watch what time once was: a simple and pure marking of moment to moment.

This watch has no internet connection. It has no date feature. Triathlons and moontrips are not recommended while wearing this watch. But this watch, in giving you time, will bring you the world.

Wear this watch with your best suit, with a sharp white shirt and, if the weather is chilly, wear a plain plaid wool scarf. With a silver-hued frame and rich black leather strap, you will notice heads turning, wishing they wore this fundamental accessory. Traditional ensembles are timeless, and will lift you above the less dapper, less dashing dancers at the dinner ball.

When she sees you, that love of your life yet unmet, know what time it is. She'll want to know, and you will be prepared. As you provide the time, she'll provide her name. Always know the time, and you'll always know her name. Forget the time, and she may leave without notice.

Take her hand with your right hand. Your watch is worn on the left. The Easy Reader model has large digits, and only takes a glance to know how long you have for the ferry, for the sunset, and for the moon to rise. Your love will grow without hurry.

If things get late, have no worry. Indiglo lighting will illuminate the face with a swift press of the button.

If, by owning and wearing an Easy Reader Timex watch, you are able to share with her your time, know that when tomorrow comes, she'll give you the time of day.

--Brockeim

(the watch, as sold in the USA: Timex Mens Easy Reader Silver-tone Black Leather Watch T20501

Slim Fast - Sublime

2011-01-10T16:59:00.000-05:00

Smoothly poured, and smoothly swallowed, this delicate chocolate drink danced in daylight, a creamy delight, as if to tease me, please me into a heightened awareness of all that is succulent and good. And, mmm, it was and is good, this chocolate Slim Fast.

We spent a weekend in the fields. I shook the cans, one at a time, completely as their humble label directed. Their cardboard box was sturdy enough only to sit upon the ground and watch the clouds go by, but in this, I was content. Just sipping Slim Fast in its 190 glorious calories, that was enough pleasure for me. Always cool, cold--chilled in my refrigerator for a fortnight, the flavors were at their peak. One night would've done well, but 14 sufficed beyond chronological measure.

Each of the 24 vitamins and minerals sang out to me, called me their friend, and I called them friend. Calcium was there, ready to drink, ready to nourish. We, the Slim Fast and I, drank together through the weekend, until the sunset, and then, when the sixth can was empty, I slumped into a satisfied grin.

This is the way good days are spent, drinking Slim Fast. May yours bring you the same chocolate-flavored happiness.

--Brockeim

Search Amazon.com for Slim-Fast

Griffin and Sabine - Delicious and Mysterious Romance

2011-01-06T10:43:00.000-05:00

Lovers love, and whatever distance or mystery is tossed between them, they still will love. In "Griffin & Sabine: An Extraordinary Correspondence" by Nick Bantock, we begin an intimate journey between two lovers destined to be enraptured in all that is dreamt of. They catapult the divide of geography and join mid-mail in a postal embrace, captured by Bantock in a sweet and phenomenal book.

Griffin is a postcard artist in England and Sabine is a stamp designer for a small Pacific island. Each is perceived as sublimely exotic to the other as they reveal the secrets of their lives through correspondence.

What is the romance of Griffin & Sabine? Besides being an 'extraordinary correspondence,' it is about two lovers who connect through the artistic passions they share. Like the romances that now happen through the internet, or the Victorian era correspondences, there is an innocence and delicacy to their exchanges of mail.

This is the romance which never happened in 84 Charing Cross Road. This is what the romance should've been in You've Got Mail. This is what Cyrano de Bergerac could've been if not a tragedy.

Bantock dangles a sensuous, sumptuous step into the hearts of a fantasy based in a reality that the reader will smile, wondering if the writer knew someone like Sabine, if she has been created like Pygmalion (Penguin Classics) sculpted Galatea.

Begin with "Griffin and Sabine: An Extraordinary Correspondence" and follow their story through subsequent tales in other books.

--Brockeim

Babette's Feast - About Grace, Glory and Goodness (review)

2011-01-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

Some might say Babette's Feast symbolically begins when Babette plans to make a meal only princes have enjoyed before.

The story, and its subsequent message of grace and glory, truly begins when Babette is received by two middle-aged women with nothing to offer but their home. Babette has nothing to give that they want, and so the relationship grows from this tiny movement of mutual grace.

Babette, an acclaimed chef, needs to hide for political reasons. She is introduced to sisters Martine and Filippa by way of a letter from a mutual friend. As they hire her with no promise of payment, Babette offers to cook for the sisters who know nothing of Babette's reputation in the kitchen. More than a Stone Soup (Aladdin Picture Books) chicanerist, she has the ability to do much with little. Humbly, she lets the sisters teach her to make potato soup. Esculent in every way a potato soup could be, the meal convinces the sisters they have made the right move.

Based on a story by Isak Dinesen (author of Out of Africa) found in her collection, Anecdotes of Destiny, it is not a story about the clich d sensual delights of food, as found in lesser films such as "Chocolat." It is about the grace of being humble, of serving, and of enjoying both the simple and grand things of God. Whether making potato soup or quail in vol-au-vents, Babette always is thankful and diligent to do her best.

When Babette wins the lottery, she decides to make a meal as thanks to the town. She orders delicacies unheard of, and asks the community to help prepare the feast. Skepticism dies down as her neighbors sample morsels, and a new life comes to the village. This is where the comparisons to Chocolat (Miramax Collector's Series) begin and end, as Babette's only desire is to lift the spirits of the town she has been so much blessed by.

The long table of near-gluttonous dining is memorable. It far exceeds any American Thanksgiving dinner cornucopia overflow, yet is as thankful. So much of the movie culminates then, and the movie satisfies the deepest hunger for a tasty conclusion.

Finding a layer by which to appreciate "Babette's Feast" is just a matter of watching. For Christians, you will find a subtext of understanding simplicity vs displaying gifts from God. For foodies, you will watch a dream meal presented as Julia Child herself never imagined. For cinematography buffs, you will see a French village shot in intimate detail, so as if you could smell the door frame wood after the rain.

Attend to your senses and sensibilities and order up a copy of Babette's Feast.

The Black Keys - Tighten Up (Visions of Nancy?)

2011-01-03T09:52:00.000-05:00

Playground love? Bliss? Could that be Nancy in the video?

The Black Keys - Tighten Up

My 2010 Blog Posts in Letters in a Photo Status Update

2011-01-01T01:06:00.001-05:00

I took the liberty of alphabetizing all of my posts from all my blogs, website, Facebook and Twitter accounts by letter, and then eliminated the duplicates... for your convenience.

Seeing Beauty

2010-12-31T12:44:00.000-05:00

I have been told I see things always brightly, that I see the beauty in everything. If you read my tales, almost all are filled with bliss and hope. Even the saddest ones are bereft of cynicism. I think this is true. I am hopeful, even when my day is low.

I have known difficult days, but what I see... what I wish you and everyone could see, is not just the light shining at the end of the tunnel, but how wonderful the tunnel is.

I wish the world was this way. Around us all are people who like to point out the bad news. Nihilism's populist messengers are in abundance. Political discussion is often about how awful so-and-so is. Complaints about friends and employers are found more easily than rainy days after a car wash. Woe is me. We'll never make it. We're doomed.

We cheer for the failure of our enemy more than for the success of our hero.

Spray your life free of this.

My writing is mostly about observation. Every sense squints to know what's in front, whether a color, a sound, a scent, a texture or a taste. The bigness or smallness of any of it, or how they combine. The beauty is always there, and doesn't need dusting off. I try to see it, and try to write it down.

Never ignore true hardship. See the beauty in the lonely, the homeless and those in need. Give them hope, give them a hand. And point them toward beautiful, hopeful days.

A new year. Help it be a happier, hopeful one.

Juxtaposing A Sequence - A Poem by Brockeim

2010-12-25T00:47:00.004-05:00

Juxtaposing A Sequence
by Brockeim

No city should be too large for a man to walk out of in a morning.
-Cyril Connolly

I only now noticed
the URL had changed
directions.

Before, it led
me to places
unknown.

But now, I think
I don't know where I'm
going.

Then, until I know, I must type,
type, type until my fingers
bleed.

Inspired, inexplicably,
by a poem posted
by poet Annie Park
on her favorite poems blog,
"Of the Day"

Trains

Señor Don Gato (with Video, Music and Lyrics)

2010-12-24T13:20:00.001-05:00

Few songs I sang while yet still a young prince in Brockeimia were as passionate as this sad love song. A cat reads a love letter, falls, dies, but finds new life thanks to his equal passion of fish.

My heart still breaks... meow meow meow... when I listen.

Señor Don Gato

Señor Don Gato was a cat,
Meow
On a high red roof Don Gato sat.
Meow
He went there to read a letter,
Meow, meow, meow
Where the reading light was better,
Meow, meow, meow
T'was a love note for Don Gato.

How he adored the lady cat,
Meow
Who was fluffy, white, and nice and fat.
Meow
There was not a sweeter kitty
Meow, meow, meow
In the country or the city
Meow, meow, meow
And she said she'd wed Don Gato.

Oh, Don Gato jumped so merrily,
Meow
He fell off the roof and broke his knee.
Ow!
Broke his ribs and all his whiskers,
Meow, meow, meow
And his little solar plexus,
Meow, meow, meow
"Ay carramba!" cried Don Gato.

Well the doctors all came on the run,
Meow
Just to see if something could be done.
Meow
And they held a consultation,
Meow, meow, meow
About how to save their patient,
Meow, meow, meow
How to save Señor Don Gato.

But in spite of everything they tried,
Meow
Poor Señor Don Gato up and died.
Meow
Oh it wasn't very merry,
Meow, meow, meow
Going to the cemetery,
Meow, meow, meow
For the ending of Don Gato.

As the funeral passed the market square,
Meow
Such a smell of fish was in the air.
Meow
Though the funeral was slated,
Meow, meow, meow
He became re-animated,
Meow, meow, meow
He came back to life Don Gato.

Christmas Comes at The Best Time of the Year

2010-12-24T09:05:00.000-05:00

What time is best for Christmas? What day was Christ born? December 25, 0000? April 4, 0004? September 23, -0006? Today is as good as any day. All days are good for anyone seeking the real answers.

The meaning of Christmas is simple: Celebrate Christ, and to do so, live the life He asks of us. That is all. Not the rest of "the real meaning of Christmas," which is misconstrued as warmth, and friendly bliss. Bad? No, but not the point of Christmas.

That's all. A sermonette in a blog usually filled with vignettes and sentimental tales of romance. The truest romance is not found in this blog. At my most profound, I am the most weak, and when I am the most weak is when He is strongest.

As I say in a less important blog, "Christmas is not just for retailers. It used to be known as a celebration by Christians in anticipation of Jesus Christ, both as a child, but also, as symbolic as they also currently are waiting his second coming."

Merry Christmas. Enjoy the frivolity, and the depth, but most of all, enjoy the grace endowed by the Christ child.

(reposted from 2007).

Sing Along With Brockeim: Elizabeth Barrett Browning parody

2010-12-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

How Do I Read Thee?
severe apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning
read the original

How do I read thee? Let me count the ways.
I read thee from the first and last and mid
My eyes can reach, where pages are not hid
For the ends of books show ideal grace.
I read thee through the pleasure of story’s pace
Most urgent need, by cheap fluorescent light.
I read thee freely, tho’ men strive to ban my right.
I read thee surely, as fervent as I turn a page.
I read thee with aggression put to use
In my old books, like poets, like Byron, like Keats.
I read thee with a mind I beg not to lose
Poets, my lost saints. I read of thee verbal feats,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but read thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote some of the most passionate poetry about her love for her husband, writer Robert Browning. Her style is not confused or hindered by poetics. Browning brought her simple heart to the page, guided by her brilliant intellect.

Reading good books is like love. There is passion beginning and ending the relationship. Unlike love, all books must end, but with each page turn, we consume and linger and enjoy.

I hope you enjoy my adaptation of Browning's most famous, most parodied poem.

--Brockeim

Steve Landesberg, You Were One of My Favorites

2010-12-23T11:23:00.000-05:00

Steve Landesberg died December 20. He wasn't the most famous comic, but he was a favorite for me. He had Bill Maher's humorous sensibilities without the political chip on his shoulder. His deft ability to cast innuendo without being salacious, hateful or bitter amazes me as I plow through old clips on YouTube.

I mostly knew him from his character Dietrich on Barney Miller. He was a strong secondary personality on the show, but never insignificant.

Class, wit, intelligence, all in one. Maher, as far as I see it, took notes from Landesberg while growing up, which is probably why I find Maher occasionally funny.

Search Amazon.com for Bill Maher

To Be Exact (Though She Could Never Be)

2010-12-20T12:30:00.000-05:00

To Be Exact (Though She Could Never Be)
by Brockeim

If you want me to be exact,
and you know I never can be,
if you want all vagaries explained,
and you know that will not happen,
I can only say,
with some, well, more than some
hesitation,
you are amazing.

Search Amazon.com for poetry

To His Coy Mistress - Andrew Marvell

2010-12-19T16:49:00.001-05:00

Alert readers of my review of Timex's Easy Reader watch recognized the allusion to Andrew Marvell's famous poem, "To His Coy Mistress." The poem itself is at once scandalous, romantic, foolish, rich with relationship and lack of relationship.

To His Coy Mistress
by Andrew Marvell

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

TIMEX Easy Reader Watch - World Enough, and Time

2010-12-19T16:33:00.001-05:00

A classic style, with classic lines and curves, and leather to band it all underside enlivens time as if it were the first sun rising. Timex brings in this watch what time once was: a simple and pure marking of moment to moment.

This watch has no internet connection. It has no date feature. Triathlons and moontrips are not recommended while wearing this watch. But this watch, in giving you time, will bring you the world.

Wear this watch with your best suit, with a sharp white shirt and, if the weather is chilly, wear a plain plaid wool scarf. With a silver-hued frame and rich black leather strap, you will notice heads turning, wishing they wore this fundamental accessory. Traditional ensembles are timeless, and will lift you above the less dapper, less dashing dancers at the dinner ball.

When she sees you, that love of your life yet unmet, know what time it is. She'll want to know, and you will be prepared. As you provide the time, she'll provide her name. Always know the time, and you'll always know her name. Forget the time, and she may leave without notice.

Take her hand with your right hand. Your watch is worn on the left. The Easy Reader model has large digits, and only takes a glance to know how long you have for the ferry, for the sunset, and for the moon to rise. Your love will grow without hurry.

If things get late, have no worry. Indiglo lighting will illuminate the face with a swift press of the button.

If, by owning and wearing an Easy Reader Timex watch, you are able to share with her your time, know that when tomorrow comes, she'll give you the time of day.

Timex 20501 Easy Reader Watch

Andrew Marvell's famous poem.

The Lunchbreak Reader - Singalong With Brockeim - parody of Carl Sandburg's "Fog"

2010-12-14T10:29:00.000-05:00

The Lunchbreak Reader
(severe apologies to Carl Sandburg)
by Brockeim

The reader comes
for a little book treat.
He sits looking
over shoulder and shelf
on long lunches
and then moves on.

Carl Sandburg was an everyday man with poetic tendencies. Whether he was describing Chicago as hog-butcher to the world or the nature of fog, he, like his contemporary, Robert Frost, met readers where they were at.

"Fog" is a delightful poem, using simple imagery. There aren't a lot of words, and the image, at first look, isn't very complex. However, like a haiku poem, there is far more than just the description of the movement of misty air. Fog leaves the natural and becomes surreal and ethereal, but always anchored to the familiar reality we all know.

In my parody, I evoke none of Sandburg's greatness. It is about the corporate office reader, the one who slips in quietly to the lunchroom and sits in sits in the corner reading John Grisham, Stephen King or Jerry Jenkins. He's even been known to pick up an Oprah Book Club title. He could as easily be reading these books in a factory or fast food restaurant. It doesn't matter. But he is the reader who loves to read. Work just gets in the way of finishing books more quickly.

How does he read? With stealth... not because he is hiding, but because he does not want to miss a word. Lunchbreaks are over in a chapter or two, and the library wants the book back in two weeks. The reader might have friends, but that doesn't matter to him at this time. Instead, he sits in that corner, away from anyone who might disturb him, from whomever might slow him down from finding out whodunit.

His lunches probably last longer than they should, and I'm sure he knows it. What can he do? Good books do not tell the whole story in 20 pages, but in 500 pages. There is only one way to get to the last page, and that is by squeezing in every moment of reading he can.

I hope you enjoy my parody.

Tasty But Not Overpowering Coffee Candy, Fit for a Picnic

2010-12-13T18:58:00.001-05:00

I unwrapped a piece of United Coffee Candy while Nancy and I sat for an afternoon in a park. Dulcet, yet strong flavors filled my imagination as we cleared the branches for our blanket. The candy's metallic maroon wrapper soon lay tossed in a pocket, or a bag, who knows where?

A mid-city stream during a quiet picnic can be as cacophonous as a mid-state river. Rapids, wind, gulls all called out to each other as autumn began its march through the wane of summer. Undeterred, Nancy and I read the poetry of the day: our own, and that found in an old professor's reading list. Many hums and other murmurs of agreement brought us through a dozen pages and an hour of reading.

We asked, "Is that a complex form or does it just organically resonate mellifluously?"

Not all questions can be answered while distracted by the pleasant confluence of her eyes, the falling leaves and the coffee candy. All blended into a gentle sweetness: to see, to smell, to taste.

Now, three months later, I find the wrapper in my satchel, and the stream rushes just as hard. The gulls are gone, but the poetry remains. May your bag of United Coffee Candy reach as deeply, taste as complex, and remind you of poems read on a bank.

--Brockeim

For Coffee Lovers and Grievers of Juliet: review Chantal Ceramic 20-Ounce Ring Mug, Semi-Gloss Garden Green, Set of 4

2010-12-13T13:37:00.000-05:00

My Chantal ceramic mug brought more pleasure than most men have known, and, may, if all is right in your heart, bring to you such as well.

Tresses, none had she. She wore only a sweet drink inside that she gave when I pressed my lips to hers. The blondest or darkest coffee, or the cool caress of filtered water is what we most often shared. But on those saddest nights when the moon was farthest, between the time of sun's setting and rising, she took within whiskey or brandy.

One night in June, when the night is shortest, she took too much, then, gave too much. As I read, I sipped, and, this night, I read long, deep into Romeo and Juliet, and raged at their great loss. When Juliet cried, "O happy dagger!" I flung my kind cup from clasped fingers to the wooden floor.

My lovely cup (there was none more so) broke into three large pieces, with shards of ceramic shining like teardrops all around. What was once smooth and inviting was now sharp and angry, unwilling in all regards. All because of the drink, and because of the childish, foolish passion of Juliet, and because I, on a lonely night, sought Shakespeare and cognac to fill my cup.

Buy a set of the Chantal Ceramic 20-Ounce Ring Mugs, and pour your coffee frequently, but, for your reading, choose instead Mark Twain, not the bard.

--Brockeim

Protects Filet Mignons and My Heart - Ziploc Freezer Bags Reviewed

2010-12-12T14:59:00.000-05:00

Ziploc Freezer Bag, Quart Value Pack, 40-Count (Pack of 3)

I only needed two bags. You'll find 40 in this pack. I used the other 38 for more pedestrian purposes.

In my freezer now, just as has been for two years, are two 6 oz. cuts of filet mignon. They are seasoned. Some garlic, onion, ground pepper (I ground it myself), and the smallest speckle of salt. That's all.

Soon, I will unzip my Ziploc Freezer Bags to reveal two filets, and she and I will dine, shadowed by glimmering candles brightened against her eyes, increased by her smile.

My grill was hot with pecan wood, smoldering and smoking, waiting. She said she would here at 7:00 p.m. It was a Friday night, and when 7:00 passed, I guessed traffic slowed her down. When 8:00 passed, I thought she mistook the time. When 9:00 passed, I believe she wrote down Saturday instead of Friday. When Saturday passed, I knew she would come by next Friday.

A week, a month, two years have passed. She'll call. I'll be ready. A bottle of Bordeaux is in my cabinet, below where two glasses sit prepared. Plates and silverware are on the table all shined and dusted, candles stand in their holders wanting to burn, and I sit poised by the phone and computer expecting her to call or IM.

The other 38 bags, all used in these last two years, went into work as fresh keepers of pretzels, storage of loose rubber bands, and sandwich carriers on my way to work. None have as noble or as urgent employment as those protecting my two filets and my heart.

Ziploc Freezer Bags

Brockeim's Reviews on amazon.com