July 26, 2007

Files Nails and Enhances Love Letters - Diamon Deb Nail File reviewed

Diamon Deb Nail Files 8"

Apologies and words of love should not rely on a nail file. Mine did, and for finding on the fly a Diamon Deb file, my love forever remains my love.

When in a desperate strait so many years ago, when the time to write to her something of bliss and beauty, my pencil tip broke.

Sitting in a New York park, I asked around. Not a pencil or pen to be found. With the postman in view, I knew what to do, and told my woe. An older woman with perfect nails heard my heart and my tale, and delivered romantic salvation with the Diamon Deb file.

James Dean StampWith Boy Scout resilience and pluck, I shaved and I trimmed. A little lead would be enough. My words were few, and my time was short. With a thank you to a patient postman, and a stamp with a picture of James Dean, my work was done.

May you always be on the ready to write your loved one by retaining a Diamon Deb file in your briefcase or bag.

--Brockeim

July 25, 2007

Meaningless Ditty Without Music Or Purpose

Meaningless Ditty Without Music Or Purpose
by Brockeim

A shameless ditty I thought I'd write.
Today's the day in my sight.
But I cannot sing and I cannot play.
So I'm stuck to rhyme what I say.
My name’s Brockeim, not Edgar Guest…
means half the sap and twice the zest.
Sing with me these words online.
Sip some Slim-Fast, all is fine.

July 20, 2007

Show Your Love With Toast Buttered by Oneida - Oneida Chateau Butter Knife reviewed

Oneida Chateau Butter Knife

Proper butter knives are not found in the layman's culinary set. Steak knives are not appropriate, and cannot elucidate the bread scratching required to alert your love that you are making her breakfast. Toast is not meant to eaten dry, but with butter or jelly, spread, not smeared. All will be accomplished with the Oneida Butter Knife.

Buttering toasted bread is like conducting a symphony of silky flavor onto the surface. A side-to-side motion, like drawing a smile in the air, with ample amounts of softened butter pressing down on the crispy brown outside. Flip the slice swiftly, placing the buttered side down on a still warm slice below, and repeat.

Like negligee against a rough exterior, any mood will be softened, even the harsh sense of awakening after a sweet sleep. She will hear that the sunrise will be met with romance, and will see the glimmer of the blade mirroring your heart, The subtle floral border will be noticed, followed by with a smile, as she recognizes you have remembered your anniversary. As you present the toast, be sure to offer a vased rose for display on the night stand.

Celebrate another year of love, buttered toast and sunrises with the Oneida Butter Knife.

--Brockeim

July 17, 2007

Helps Bake Cakes and Solve Conflict - Pyrex Prepware 2-Cup Measuring Cup reviewed

Pyrex Prepware 2-Cup Measuring Cup, Blue

Mitigate battles by measuring quantities carefully with the Pyrex 2-cup.

"Blessed are the peacemakers," says the Book of Matthew. Another Matthew skipped church that day, and, that afternoon, riled when the offer of Kool-Aid came from inside the house. "Always," Matt stammered, "I get less than I should."

This was probably true. Matt never received all that he should. He'd yell and howl about injustice, making a problem of himself, and so he missed out. Grape Kool-Aid mid-July brings almost a tear to a child's eye, watching it deliciously lick quickly from its pitcher to the cup. No waterfall in Niagara held the same beauty to a six year-old who had spent the day chasing flyballs in right field of an unmarked field.

Pyrex became the peacemaker. We three... Matt, Billy and myself, stood in awe as the precious grape drink matriculated into its glorious holding area, a clear Pyrex 2-cup. Each portion was poured perfectly into cups with animals pictured, and so we found peace in the middle east side of our little town.

Matt, satisfied, grabbed his share abruptly, splattering the sugar-sticky-syrupy fluid on his clothes. He received his cup, precisely and entirely, as he should.

To measure Kool-Aid, flour, or sugar, try the Pyrex 2-cup. May life be more peaceful as a result.

--Brockeim

On Reviewing Slim-Fast, or, the Reason to Rhyme Its Romance

On Reviewing Slim-Fast, or, the Reason to Rhyme Its Romance

I've been asked
in the past,
why Slim-Fast
I am reviewing?

Why be confused
that I have choosed
to be bemused
by its gentle cooing?

Drink, I say...
make bright the gray:
submit this day
to the chocolate wooing.

review: Slim Fast - Sublime

July 16, 2007

Excellent Tool for Counting Confectionery Shop Visits - Canon LS82Z Calculator reviewed

Canon LS82Z Calculator
When counting the conceivable number of ice cream cones you could eat within a 365-day year, a calculator managing the basic functions should be all you need ... and that is all right here in this Canon.

Some days are like the one today. The summer swelts, as it is apt to do, but what about you? Worry not. Traipse onward to your favorite creamery. How often can you do this? That's where the calculator comes in.

Work in your figuring confectionery and coffee shop visits, stops by the corner hot dog vendor, and the lovely friend you might bring along to each celebration of taste. Consider taxes, tips, and extra chocolate sprinkles. This math will take a focused mind, and an accurate calculator.

Large numbers, visible digits, and extra buttons for those with the mathematical acumen to enjoy them, the Canon calculator sits snugly on any desk or cafe counter. It will suffice most dining needs, powered by sunny days and ice cream desires.

Ensure the goodness of a year filled with flavor, well-paced through each week by knowing the cost and averages of chocolate, cappuccino and gelato. Be prepared for hot fudge sundaes, mochas and nougat bars. When December comes, as the year has passed, you will be able to tell the one you love, "This one's on me," with confidence, as you will have studied the numbers on your Canon calculator.

--Brockeim

July 10, 2007

Invigorates Ordinary Coffee Into A New Aromatic Flavor - McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract reviewed

McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract, 1 fl ozWhen your everyday coffee has lost its fidelity, and the marriage of sugar and cream no longer excites, introducing a new partner of flavor may be the solution.

Vanilla extract has for its history been drawn into relationship with bakers, chefs and cooks. In my home, it has all the usual uses in cake and cookie making, but also, as a more daily use as a coffee additive. McCormick is the brand I use most, and always the purest.

A few drops dosing my cup just as I pour a cup of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee, in addition to slightly warmed and whipped cream, with a spooning of sugar, and my day begins with more than a 'cuppa joe.'

This threesome of sugar, cream and vanilla tosses an aroma around the room, down the hall strong enough to entice curiosity from neighbors and neighbor's cats alike. If no one is there to share, feel free to drink alone. May your love of the cupped elixir find new vigor.

--Brockeim

July 09, 2007

Carries Romance and Freedom - IGLOO Maxcold 60-qt. Wheeled Cooler reviewed

IGLOO Maxcold 60-qt. Wheeled Cooler

Prepare your picnic thoughtfully, and the location becomes moot. It begins with the time you park your car, meeting hers, for a long lunch rendevouz.

Between the car and the picnic setting remains a distance short, and replete with romance. By rolling the Igloo Wheeled Cooler, you will have one hand free for holding hers.

Bundle your cooler with all the needs of food and love. Pack within it a bag of ice, of course, and white wine wrapped in a wet, cold cloth. Add candlesticks and cheese, if you please. Be sure to bring glasses for two, not three. Fold in a tablecloth to fit over the cooler, and napkins just for show. There is more than room enough for a picnic for two.

Close it well, holding the handle with your left hand, while she walks on your right. The rest is up to you.

July 01, 2007

Recipe for Real Ratalouille

Recipe (12 servings makes about 4.5 litres) .

You've noticed my review of Ratalouille. Try this as a version of the real thing.

  • 1.6 kg tomato [tomate]
  • 700 g eggplant (2) [aubergine]
  • 500 g zucchini (2) [courgette]
  • 700 g bell pepper (2-3) [poivron]
  • 1 kg onion [oignon]
  • 6 cloves garlic [ail]
  • Herbes de Provence (basilic,thyme, parsley)
  • olive oil [huile d'olive]
  • salt, pepper [sel, poivre]
  • 140 g tomato paste


This method, or a variation, takes fewer pots, is somewhat faster, yet keeps the flavors well and is commonly used. About 65 minutes cooking.

  1. Peel and drain the tomatoes (don't mind the seeds): cut out the stem cores; drop the whole tomatoes into boiling water for 2 minutes. Remove into a collander. The skin should split for easy removal; otherwise, make an X cut in the top, then peel off the skin.
  2. Chop the onion and garlic. Clean the bell pepper, cut into small strips.
  3. In a large cooking pot with thick bottom, put in olive oil, onions and chopped garlic. Add in the bell pepper. Cover to keep in the moisture. Cook for 20 minutes, stiring frequently, and add olive oil as necessary to prevent singing.
  4. Add the peeled tomatoes and herbs de Provence. If you don't have good garden tomatoes with flavor, add a small can of tomato paste. Stirr well and cook for another 15 minutes. [35']
  5. Cut the eggplant into rondelles. Cut the un-peeled zucchini into rondelles.
  6. Add the eggplant and zucchini to the pot. Cook for about 30 minutes. [65']

see http://www.beyond.fr/food/ratatouille.html for more options



Welcome ‘Offense of the New’… While Invoking the Old - Ratatouille reviewed



Ratatouille

All great recipes, whether the provincial peasant dish ratatouille (a vegetable stew), or the greatest and newest dish by Charlie Trotter, draw from the ordinary. Such is the romance of eating. It is the combining of the known to create something previously unknown. Salt, tomatoes, sugar, and butter are not unusual, but, in the hands of a master chef, they are ingredients for art.

Such is the movie Ratatouille. Its history is the simple, oft-told childhood tale of the elves and the shoemaker. A shoemaker is down on his luck, with one piece of leather left, and, to his great delight, a fine pair of shoes are miraculously made with that leather when he awakes. Can he make those shoes again? Who was the mysterious maker of these fantastic shoes?

Ratatouille takes us to a similar difficulty: Linguini, a hapless mid-20s guy who has failed at every job. At the great Gusteau's Restaurant, he becomes a garbage boy. He causes an accident with a pot of soup, and, in trying to fix the problem, makes the soup offensive to even the most plebeian of taste buds. Remy, a rat with culinary sensitivities, secretly adds the ingredients necessary to save the soup.

Instead of being fired, Linguini is promoted to cook. Without Remy's help, he cannot cook. With Remy's help, he shows, as the late Chef Gusteau claimed, anyone can cook. Even the garbage boy.

Remy's story, though, is the tension between his passion for cooking, and his large family. They are satisfied eating garbage, living on the run, and avoiding kitchens, as that's where the greatest dangers prevails. Reminiscent of Richard Bach's fable "Jonathan Livingston Seagull," Remy wants more than to be what rats have always been. He wants to taste, to smell, to combine two flavors into a new ecstatic sensation. Torn between these two loves, he tries to balance their expectations with his dreams.

As Remy's influence through Linguini in the kitchen grows, so does the renewal of Gusteau's Restaurant. It had fallen into the hands of Skinner, the ambitious and evil sous chef, when Gusteau passed away, and he was making it into a tourist locale, and branding frozen burritos with Gusteau's imprimatur. Now, Linguini as the new Gusteau, its reputation was flourishing.

Anton Ego, a food critic who despises Gusteau's, is forced to reconsider the restaurant after he thought he had written its death knell years back. With fearful awe, his declaration to return to Gusteau's causes trembling among the cooks and staff.


  • Can Ego's pretentious palate be satiated?

  • Will the conflict with Linguini and Colette, his lover and cook, force bad decisions in the kitchen?

  • Can a restaurant survive if people learn a rat has been running the show?


In all, Ratatouille's a remarkable movie that relies on storytelling, not on celebrity voicings, special effects, pop-culture references or cheap humor. It tells an old story a new way, bringing a fresh flavor into a familiar meal, and is soon to be a staple in family DVD collections. See it in the theater, and enjoy the magnificent animation on a large screen while you can.

--Brockeim