July 30, 2008

Ghirardelli Never Knew This Chocolate: review: Kellogg's Live Bright Bar, 4-Count, 4.9-Ounce Box (Pack of 4)

Ghirardelli Never Knew This Chocolate
Kellogg's Live Bright Bar, 4-Count, 4.9-Ounce Box (Pack of 4)

Peeling the wrapper from the sun-melted bar, I saw Chicago's heat showed it was stronger than naturally and artificially flavored chocolate. Hours at the door, waiting to be taken in, it was no match. Did the quality diminish in the swelter of mid-July, reduced by an eager delivery man's desire to relieve himself of product?

Tolerating the misshapen bar, having conformed itself to gravity's pull, I imagined a glorious vision of Ghirardelli or Godiva. What might the Kellogg's Live Bright bars have been compared to in their fully formed prime? Just my imagination, I learned in one bite. Nothing here would Domenico Ghirardelli recognize. It was an adequate, not satisfying flavor.

Deliberately, I chewed, longing to find in this brain health bar wisdom. I found mediocrity. It reminded me of a 1970s Marathon Bar that has missed its caramel filling, leaving behind the masticatory endurance test.

Not qualified to assess the nutritional result, I cannot say how the Omega-3 or other vitamins worked. I can say I enjoy chocolate Slim Fast more, and it goes down quicker. May you eat so well in your daily dining that supplements are unnecessary.

Taste a finer chocolate and worse tasting vitamin elsewhere.

--Brockeim

July 29, 2008

The Sad Maiden and Only Voyage of the Bodum Chocolatiere: review: Bodum Chocolatiere Glass Hot Chocolate Maker/Frother

The Sad Maiden and Only Voyage of the Bodum Chocolatiere

Bodum Chocolatiere Glass Hot Chocolate Maker/Frother
Wrapped securely in giant bubble wrap, in a box within a box, she, my Bodum Chocolatiere, rested comfortably in a packaged womb as she found her way into my home. Her curves were undeniable, more svelte than the chocolate jugs made for ordinary use, bringing me hope. My use, though, was not plebeian.

Ground chocolate. Sugar. 2% milk. Vanilla. Filtered water. Heavy whipping cream. These were the ingredients of pleasure. These were to join as an elixir of morning ecstasy. These were what God designed, and what I would mix.

Mechanically, as I swished the plunger, all blended, but inefficiently. Chocolate powder remained at the bottom, unreached by the swirl liquid. At the top, other problems ensued: partially harmonized flavors pulled out with the plunger. All grace was lost as hot chocolate spilt upon my counter.

Though my struggle was true, my recipe was sure, and so, when all was meted generously between my Monday brunch guest and I, we enjoyed.

Was a better method of preparation available? Could the spillage be averted through a careful and exact portioning of ingredients? This I will not know. While drawing water to rinse, she clashed with a favorite coffee mug and left this world in several pieces.

Hot chocolate deserves to made with ease, and the Bodum Chocolatiere was not easy. Her virtue was her sophistication, but her vice was her fragility. She was beautiful to see, but not sturdy enough to love me back. There are better ways to make the hot chocolate you need.

--Brockeim