March 29, 2011

Ask Brockeim: I Swoon When I Read Your Poetry


Letters from readers asking what matters.

Dear Brockeim,

When I read your poetry, I swoon in delight. What your words do to me I cannot type here.

--Blissful Bunny



Dear Bunny,

Please check the natural gas line, and open a window. Also, examine the date on the milk in the fridge. I think it is expired. Try drinking a cup of coffee.

-Brockeim

March 24, 2011

The Same Crackers Found in Campfire S'Mores: Honey Maid Fresh Stacks, 12.2-Ounce (Pack of 6) (Grocery) review

Honey Maid Fresh Stacks, 12.2-Ounce (Pack of 6)Honey Maid Fresh Stacks, 12.2-Ounce (Pack of 6)

Lingering evenings by campfires, sitting on old stumps, fumbling through the delicious art of s'more making always involves Honey Maid honey grahams. These are those crackers.

Unlike their classic brethren, these are batched in six packs of eight crackers. Otherwise, they are the same. Future campfires can include passing out a pack to each person (I dare not say child, knowing adults love them as well).

The recipe is simple:
* Two crackers make a sandwich around a piece of milk chocolate and a marshmallow.
* Hold tightly together (but not too tight) over a fire with tongs.
* When the chocolate and marshmallow melt just enough to be squishy, eat.
* Wash down with hot chocolate.

Eight crackers are also just enough for a snack, as I am having now, accompanied by orange juice.

--Brockeim

  Progressive International GMMC-68 Microwavable S'Mores Maker
Progressive International GMMC-68 Microwavable S'Mores Maker 

March 23, 2011

White Diamonds By Elizabeth Taylor For Women, Eau De Toilette Spray, 3.3-Ounce review: A Scent That Begins Romance

White Diamonds By Elizabeth Taylor For Women, Eau De Toilette Spray, 3.3-Ounce

Before I saw her, I wondered, and before we exchanged glances, I smiled. Her scent was familiar, classic, alluring yet set apart. Syncopated between the brusk but pleasant notes of espresso in a favorite cafe, I found her engaging me with the gentle warmth of White Diamonds.

Turning from my table, I saw her equal to my imagination. She too turned, and we shared a glance, then conversation. The poetry I had been reading paled as I learned her name, and her voice.

What more could I want from a perfume that embodies the modern and the sophisticated beauty of Elizabeth Taylor?

May your visits to cafes be as serendipitously delicious as mine. Begin by wearing White Diamonds, and be ready to say hello when a man reading Keats turns to greet you.

--Brockeim

White Diamonds By Elizabeth Taylor For Women, Eau De Toilette Spray, 3.3-Ounce
 

March 16, 2011

Ask Brockeim: Lounge Singer?


Letters from readers asking what matters.

Dear Brockeim,

Your reviews are so cheesy with romance. Are you a lounge singer?

--Cynic in Seattle



Dear Cynic,

No. Lounge singers have found their inner 'Burt Bacharach' whilst I can't even find my inner 'Tony Clifton'.

-Brockeim

March 13, 2011

She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron

Read aloud, and think of her, who you know, who you have known, and know beauty in your heart. My heart, now, just in reading this as I post it, smiles.

She Walks in Beauty
by Lord Byron

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

March 12, 2011

Amazon Reviewing Report: Ranked 8.01 Million (Where's the Love?)

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card (0109)March 12, 2011
Customer Reviews: 136
New Reviewer Rank: 8,010,422
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,920
Helpful Votes:  983


Love is hard to find in a cynical world. I bare my heart on Amazon in my reviews, and in return? On one review, not so much love. Apparently, someone believes a product must only be used as the marketing people tell you to use it. Is that one review the reason? I cannot say. See my reviews and you tell me. 

Real reviews, real romance about products as I use them. Follow me on Amazon.

January 30, 2011

Customer Reviews: 122
New Reviewer Rank: 7,797,830
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,936
Helpful Votes:  954


January 28, 2011
Customer Reviews: 122
New Reviewer Rank: 102,971
Classic Reviewer Rank: 4,932
Helpful Votes: 953

December 2
Customer Reviews: 115
New Reviewer Rank: 7,420,986
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,120
Helpful Votes: 920

November 13
Customer Reviews: 113
New Reviewer Rank: 60,742
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,165
Helpful Votes: 916

November 3
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 73,273
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,157
Helpful Votes: 911

October 15
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 94,917
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,250
Helpful Votes: 905

October 1 
Customer Reviews: 109
New Reviewer Rank: 310,062
Classic Reviewer Rank: 5,300
Helpful Votes: 900

Amazon.com $50 Gift Card
Amazon.com $25 Gift Card - Box of 50 Cards

Bright Lights, Big City - Jimmy Reed

March 08, 2011

Beautiful Picture of the Elegant Luna Moth: Male Luna Moth Photographic Poster Print by Adam Jones, 24x32 review

Male Luna Moth Photographic Poster Print by Adam Jones, 24x32She floated in like moonlight and grace. Her gown lilted in the spring breeze with angelic elegance. Alighting on rough bark, or on moist soil, her delicacy brightened and refined the coarse earth. This is her week of regal love.

GRACE KELLY 24X36 B&W POSTER PRINTHer home is oak, cherry, chestnut or sumac. It could be hickory, maple, beech or willow. But her true home, for her one week of life, is in the air. April wind is the robe this princess wears, and her kingdom is the night. A perfumed huntress, she lives only to entice a lover, then, gives life to 200 children. Flying off lonely, she lands and dies.

Here, you see her mate, the male Luna Moth. His wings are spread four and a half inches to welcome his beloved, or to wave his sorrowed good-bye.

May this brilliant poster of a male Luna Moth remind you always of the brief and excellent passion found one April evening.

--Brockeim

Male Luna Moth Photographic Poster Print by Adam Jones, 24x32 
GRACE KELLY 24X36 B&W POSTER PRINT 

March 07, 2011

Speedy, Adequate Espresso: review: Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3)

Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3)I own and use regularly an espresso machine. The Nescafe Dolce Gusto machine isn't that. It is a single-cup brewer. What it is, however, is a solution when time is in the way.

My home is open, and friends know they are welcome to stop by without much notice. The beauty of this is I can enjoy the company of wonderful people. The challenge is that my time to prepare is minimal. Using a single cup system, I meet their needs, while focusing on hosting duties. Given time, I can grind beans, whip cream, and more. Without time, guests can still enjoy a better than average espresso.

The term 'espresso' is used here loosely, but accurately. Unlike some single cup systems, high pressure is used to make the espresso. Is it the same as a standard espresso machine? No. It is not that sophisticated. Still, for what is asked of this machine, the espresso flavor is very good. There is a nice crema, and the roast is medium to slightly dark. Those looking for a stronger flavor ought look elsewhere, but, for the average chain coffee house customer, this will be more than adequate.

A better solution for those looking for speed with a more authentic espresso should invest in a standard espresso machine and ESE pods. The pods are single-serve, ready-made. However, if you own the Nescafe Dolce Gusto machine, and love its convenience (great for other flavors), give these a shot. Keep them handy when friends honor your home with an unexpected visit.

--Brockeim 

Nescafe Dolce Gusto for Nescafe Dolce Gusto Brewers, Espresso, 16-Count Capsules (Pack of 3) 

Big Boss Juicer, 700W 18,000 RPM review: Better than Expected Juicer for Me, a Juicing Neophyte

With trepidation, I opened the box. My first juicer. My friends all have them and use them. This one, the Big Boss Juicer, is an entry level one compared to theirs. I cannot say I was only a little intimidated.

The directions were clear, eliminating concern number one: could I put it together. Yes.

Would it work easily? Yes. Dropping various vegetables and fruits in (different drinks), from carrots to tangerines to strawberries to apples, all worked well.

Some pulp found its way through to my glass, and I had to tilt the device to pour remaining juice.

Big Boss Juicer, 700W 18,000 RPMWould it taste good? The carrot juice was too much, but might serve well as a sweetener. The apple juice was authentic, better than the grocery store brand names. A little cinnamon might help. Leveling off the recipes of the others is a work in progress. I could see adding a shot of vodka might help some.

How does it clean? Be careful here. Sharp edges. It cleans general well, but attention need to be spent on the filter.

I am happy with the Big Boss Juicer. I am not ready to say I want the next level up, but I am enjoying experimenting with the drinks.

--Brockeim

Big Boss Juicer, 700W 18,000 RPM

March 02, 2011

Of All the Gin Joints in All the Towns in All the World: Casablanca, As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By (from 'Casablanca')"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." Casablanca (movie). The line is on my mind today. I am avoiding all gin joints as a result.

As Time Goes By (from 'Casablanca')  (mp3 - $0.99)

You know the scene. Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine has just met Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) after years away. She left him in Paris without notice, and he was left tormented. "As Time Goes By" was the song he remembered, and so, asked it never be played again.

I allude to the movie in two reviews:

March 01, 2011

My Blue Pen Writes Well on All Occasions: Foray® Retractable Ballpoint Pens, 1.0 mm, Medium Point, Assorted Barrel, Blue Ink, Pack Of 12 review

Foray® Retractable Ballpoint Pens, 1.0 mm, Medium Point, Assorted Barrel, Blue Ink, Pack Of 12The Foray Ballpoint Pen is just a pen. Blue ink. Retractable. 1.0 mm (standard if not thin). Just like it says. Mine is the blue one.

I carry this pen with me wherever. Where I was, where I remember, where Nancy and I met is where I think of now: in a cafe in the upstairs of a bookstore where we talked of poetry. I took notes, read her poems. The ink never failed me.

The pen is here now on my desk as I write. Still full of ink. Comfortable to hold. It never streaks or skips. It will write other things. I will remember what it once wrote.

I knew soon after we connected, when I realized we connected, heartbreak was the only end. Heartbreak starts when the end is in sight, and it was always in sight.

So I am sad because I cannot pretend, because I cannot smile and think my smile is true. It could never really be, but I smiled anyway. I was happy.

I am sad we will not have tea the way we had tea and talk about the construct of a poem. But I will still write, and likely, the Foray Ballpoint Pen will be the one I use.

--Brockeim

Foray® Retractable Ballpoint Pens, 1.0 mm, Medium Point, Assorted Barrel, Blue Ink, Pack Of 12